Author: Earnest Hart

The Act of Dwelling

 

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Imagine that in your hand that you have a book all about goats getting into trees. It is a pretty heavy book, probably around two pounds with a picture of a goat on the front and a bright blue border. Now take a minute to relax and think about whatever you like, except for the book, make sure to not think about the book under any circumstances. Take one minute to do this.

It was challenging wasn’t it? We as humans possess a lot of power over ourselves but there are still many things that we cannot control, and one of these is the emergence of thought. I mean sure we can confront our own thoughts and mold them the way that we like, but we do not have a say over when they come about. In the scheme of our whole body this seems insignificant, one of many autonomous functions out of our control, but it can have serious consequences on our daily lives. Disorders such as PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) and OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder) stem from a lack of control on emerging thoughts in the brain. We also have normal occurrences of this, like not being able to forget an embarrassing moment, or not being able to get your significant other out of your head at work.

Although perfectly normal, this process can bring some major stress to the lives of those who have continuously troubling thoughts. To think about why this is we can go back to the book exercise, as humans it is impossible for us to force thoughts to go away. We must employ a different method, one where instead of dismissing the thought, or attacking it, we accept it for what it is. This method is something originating from Steven C. Hayes who created ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), and I think it is ingenious.

The road to peace is paved with more peace, it is impossible to find resolution in an issue you are actively fighting with. One cannot expect a thought to no longer cause them trouble when they are at war with it, so one must disarm themself. When dark thoughts come what we must do is the opposite of what seems natural, we must acknowledge them and let them be where they stand. For instance when thinking about that time I wet myself on an airplane, I must not tell the embarrassing thought to go away because if I do, not only will it probably return but it will have more power over me. What I do is let the thought be, recognize that it is only a thought, and eventually my brain will not see the point in letting it hang around.

At first this can be a very challenging thing to do, some thoughts have a drawing power to them that is hard to pull away from. So what I propose to you is to notice what thoughts are entering your mind and think “Does this thought cause me harm, does it make me upset?”, if you answer yes then give this method a shot. First accept that it is just a thought in your head, then try to make peace with it being there. At first this may fail, it might even make it worse, but it is important to continue trying past that. Mastery of this skill can have very profound effects on a life, I am only a beginner and I am already seeing positive effects in my day-to-day. So I challenge you, it doesn’t even take much time, just notice your thoughts more and when something rotten pops it’s head out, try and invite them in this time.

Seeking Truth in a Confusing World

I am a big fan of Socrates. All that we try to do here branches from Socrates great gift to the world, the Socratic method. What Socrates would do is sit down with another person and question them, much like a curious child questions their parent, attempting to find a flaw in their logic. Socrates did this not to make people look foolish but to make them understand where their knowledge was lacking. From this point on, he hoped that they would seek more knowledge to fill the gaps in their argument. It’s amazing that a simple method of questioning would stay so relevant for over two-thousand years.

The world we live in now is a lot more complicated than the one that Socrates was born into. In this day and age there is information everywhere. With quick access to the internet and widespread levels of education, more people are producing and consuming information every single day. It would seem that with all of this information floating around the Socratic method would be more popular than ever in order to try to find the most accurate information possible, but it’s not.

It is very important to note that the Socratic method does not work if there is malicious intent in the questioning. Once the malicious intent arrives both the questioner and the questioned become compromised, they are no longer seeking knowledge and improving logic, but instead are in a contest. Today I see remnants of the Socratic method on the news, in classrooms, and all over social media, however in these places the method has been perverted. We are no longer trying to point out flaws in logic for the purpose of self-improvement, but are instead doing so to win a battle of wits.

The Socratic method is not perfect, not because it is in itself imperfect, but that its subjects are, people are part of this equation, and where there are people there are problems. Being wrong is an awful feeling, especially when your false beliefs are exposed among peers. This awful feeling leads to resentment towards questioning, and a fear of being proven wrong. After all, it was this questioning of others that led Socrates to his execution. It is in this fear that it becomes very tempting to use the Socratic method as a tool to make others feel terribly about their own intellect. We must avoid doing this at all costs. I’m no saint, I have done the same thing, I’ve been in a heated argument and questioned ad nauseam just to try to break down the other person’s argument. This should not be why we argue.

So what I am saying here is let’s all be Socrates, let’s question and discuss for the sake of knowledge and not malintent. When speaking to someone with opposite views, let their argument fall on open ears, and then question, if they are truly wrong then they will fail this line of questioning. If one questions enough any argument will fall apart, even the most well thought out ones because our knowledge on any subject comes with a limit. So, when we question we must be responsible, when the argument falls apart do not gloat or attack, show respect by  explaining what you are doing and hope that they will seek the knowledge that they are lacking. Hell, do this with people you agree with as well because we all lack some knowledge and if nobody points it out we will never know what we don’t know. So let us make that our goal, to know what we don’t know. Let us reach out to one another and show, respectfully, how foolish each of us are. It is only then that we can begin to find truth in a very confusing world.

When Debate Loses Value

One day, if you see people arguing, whether it’s your friends or just some random strangers, listen to them for a moment and hear what each one is saying. Something odd happens when we argue with one another. Our bodies are designed for survival and thus are equipped to deal with conflict. When someone gets us heated our blood pressure and heart rate rise, we tense up, and adrenaline starts to pump through our veins. Although great for fighting off an opponent for food in the wilderness, this has not bode well for our verbal discourse. When all of this happens our body is diverting power from parts of the brain that are not required for survival to older more primitive parts. Because of this process it becomes very difficult to tell that we often are in agreement with each other, even whilst in a heated debate.

Now of course this is not always the case, there are some heated arguments where sides truly are opposed. Arguments like those in congress during the civil rights movement on segregation surely were not arguing the same thing. That being said you can hear it all of the time with modern politics becoming more polarized. It can seem kind of silly, you would think people would know if they were in agreement with each other or not when they spoke on a subject. I believe the reason that many do not know this is occurring is because of simple differences in personal definitions.

One of the biggest examples that I see of this futile form of arguing, is the argument on gender identity. Put in its simplest form, there are some who believe that exclusively think there are two genders, and there are those who believe that there are several. What I find amusing about the whole thing is that both parties are right according the the definitions that they operate by. Gender can double in meaning as both sex or an expression of sex. So if you take the first definition, yes there are two genders, male and female. If you were to take the second definition however there are many, and some are as simple as a man dressing as a woman would. Yet many become too heated to even explain themselves, to think that the other person simply does not understand their side.

A great danger lies within this problem. Arguing is one of the most important things that we have as a society, hell as a species. We thrive as a species because we can have discourse and communication on what the best thing to is in any given situation. We thrive more slowly however, when we are arguing about nothing. When time is wasted arguing about gender identity when it could be spent on more pressing matter that actually contain a solutions, it is a real tragedy. Because of this, we must identify what we are arguing at any given time, and really dig into what the argument is about. Jake and I run into this problem frequently, we find ourselves arguing only to realize we’ve been arguing the same thing just in a different context, or with different definitions.

We are always improving as individuals, and as a society. I believe we can move forward even faster, but first we must make an effort to slow down and try to understand each other. We must look to seek and give knowledge, not squabble over some definitions. Finally we must not let our primal instincts take over, and just remember that when we argue it’s because we care. After all, we are just trying to make the world the best place it can possibly be.

Effort and Apathy, Saved by Fred Rogers

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Fred Rogers aired the first episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood in 1968 with a very specific goal in mind, he sought to bring a positive change to children’s television. Right around the air date Bobby Kennedy was assassinated and in the show he worked to explain the concept of assassination to children watching the program. This was not an isolated incident, he spoke on death, racism, war and many other challenging subjects that children had not yet been exposed to. On the surface these episodes seemed simple with some puppets talking bullshit for twenty-five minutes and then Fred coming in to talk about something challenging for five minutes, but this wasn’t the case at all! Every episode had a message ingrained in it, the topics discussed were extremely well thought out and were able to educate the children in an inoffensive way.

Fred Rogers is a hero of determination. In a market where children’s shows could be cheap, easy to produce, and profitable he instead took a vastly different approach. Fred Rogers didn’t have to, but he did because he believed in something. We must all find something to believe in.

My mom always used to say to me “leave this place looking better than you found it.” and I think that is what we should do with our world. It is very easy to be apathetic. We are all tiny pieces of an ever-growing puzzle currently sitting at seven and a half billion pieces. So, it is easy to just fade away into the background, to just be okay. But it isn’t okay to be okay! It is not possible to leave the Earth in a better state than you found it by just passing through, you must strive towards something.

I don’t want to be misconstrued, you do not have to go out of your way to do as much good as possible for everyone around you. What you must do however, is at least fucking try. Try to do life with some, “oomf”, put in some work, and take the time to make things run a little bit better. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if everyone put effort into their relationships, if they really strived to make them loving and strong. Now imagine if everyone put effort into their jobs, didn’t half-ass anything, imagine how much smoother the world would run.

There is one more part to this equation, a step between apathy and determination, and that’s motivation. Motivation is driven by love and by hate. It is a deep and personal drive to achieve something you are unsatisfied with. If one hates their image, they become motivated to change it. If one loves the idea of being more wealthy, they strive to be wealthy. I am no different. I hate my depression, truly and sincerely. I hate it so much that not only do I hate it in myself, I hate that others have to experience it as well. I have channeled this hate into motivation, a motivation to fix a problem that is plaguing the world.

There is no determination without motivation, and without either there is apathy. I fear a world where we all become apathetic, where everything becomes too grand for us to feel important. So to those reading this, I would like you to ask yourself, what are you driven by? If the answer is that you don’t know, or that it’s too hard to achieve, search harder. After all there really is only one wrong answer here and that is that is “it does not matter”. So I encourage you now, search deep and find what motivates you, then put it into action. You will be doing the world a favor. I will leave you now with a quote by Norman Vincent Peale, I hope that it helps you on your way, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”.

The Goodness In Us

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I like to smile when I talk to people, it makes me feel good when others around me feel a little happier, a little more comfortable. I like to pick up garbage when I can, it makes me feel good to see where I am a bit cleaner. I like to give compliments to people when I can, it makes me feel good to see I can have a positive impact on others. There is a trend here. All of these actions are deemed generally “good”, however that is not the reason that I do them. I do these things because they make me feel good. Feeling good is the reason we do everything, all of our actions have some sort of self-serving incentive behind them. Even great sacrifices motivated by love or sympathy still come down to making us feel good, important, or fulfilled by said sacrifice.

We act this way because our survival depended on it,  if one did not look out for their own interests they would die. What I would like to talk about is something people have wondered for a long time. Are people innately good, or bad? The question is quite simple, but the answer can be really complex, and vary by person.

First of all, almost everybody who is asked this question understands the question fully, however it is based on their standards of good and bad. In a way this question is actually not one, but an infinite number of questions that depend on the questionee’s morales. To further complicate things, there are many other factors such as religion that come in to play. One may think that if another individual is not part of their religion, they are bad, regardless of their moral compass.

Another problem is judging whether or not good is something that is internal (intentions of the individual) or external (actions taken) to the individual. Let’s say a person robs a bank at gunpoint to put food on the table for their family, is this person good or bad? The intentions of the person are good however the actions taken are arguably bad. Actions versus intentions has been an ethical argument since the beginning of ethics itself, and since nobody has come to the right answer, I do not believe that there is a blanket answer to this question. I do however, have an answer that is fitted to my views, and which I hope others can relate to.

When thinking of what it means to do good, I believe actions and intentions are in tandem with one another. One should always be looking to promote the greatest amount of good for the greatest number of people. I really don’t believe your religious views have anything to do with whether you are a good person or not, as long as you are trying to promote what you perceive as the greatest good for the greatest number. It is important to note the subjectivity of goodness here, what one may think is good another may think is terrible, that is why goodness can only be judged by the one making decisions for themself.

My conclusion draws from what I spoke of before, the survival instinct, to do what best interests the self. I’m afraid that there are many times that doing the most good for the most people comes at the cost of one’s own happiness, which goes directly against our instinct to do what will make us feel the best. Because of this caveat, based on the confines of the question I think people are born bad, but fuck the confines of the question. It is too linear in it’s choices for such a large and complex subject, causing us to bottleneck a myriad of answers into just two broad choices.

We are self-interested, but that should not have to fit into terms of good or bad, it should be a term within itself.  Mary Lou Kownacki said “There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.” and I think this is true at our most fundamental levels. I believe this is true because nothing is done for no reason at all, nothing is done for the sake of good or bad, they are done for incentives. Once we fully understand someone’s story we can understand their reason for doing a good or a bad thing.

So yeah, based on the question and my beliefs I think people are born bad, but I think the questions is a failure because it isn’t productive. What we should be asking is not whether or not we are good or bad, but how can we incentivise being good. At the end of the day the best way to promote good is to incentivise it, that way we can all be self interested, but we can also trick our instincts into having us do good things. We cannot look at people as good or bad, we can only look at them as people, and try to understand what they have been through to get where they are.

A Look at Drugs

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Without drugs in my life I would be miserable. To some this may seem wrong or shocking, but the importance of drugs in our daily lives is undeniable. When we are sick we take drugs, when we are bored we take drugs, when we are tired or in pain again we turn to drugs. I believe there is a certain way that drugs should be used, and I feel if all drugs were used in this way, we would see a huge improvement in our daily lives.

So what is a drug? The Oxford dictionary defines it as “A medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.”. I find this definition interesting because it does not specify whether or not drugs are good or bad. I think as the war on drugs continues the connotation of the word “drug” is almost entirely negative. How we should think about drugs goes beyond our ideas of what makes a drug good or bad, a drug like heroin could be used to benefit one’s life greatly, it just depends on its use.

There are two popular views on how drugs should be consumed. One view is that drugs should only be taken only if absolutely necessary. An instance of this would be someone taking antibiotics for a life-threatening infection. The other view is that people should use drugs in order to maintain the level of functioning of an average person in that society. In this case think of someone taking antidepressants to reach a baseline level of mental health. I believe however, that there is another ideology on when to take drugs. What if instead of viewing drugs as a crutch or a harm, we viewed them as tools.

Almost every drug has its use, even the most dangerous ones, it’s important to note this involves more than just illicit drugs but I’m going to touch on them specifically. We have been told to think that drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and methamphetamines are full of negative consequences with no upsides and it’s a lie. These drugs have very serious negative consequences but they also have legitimate uses such as pain relief, short-term, and long-term energy. I use these extreme drugs as an example to show that even the worst have uses as tools, but the less dangerous drugs contain far more uses in our lives.

If done correctly this could really change the way we perceive drugs, but also the way that we operate on the day-to-day. Alcohol could be seen as a social lubricant, marijuana as a relaxant, nicotine could be used to give short bursts of energy for when caffeine is too long-term. We could use adderall and cocaine to help us focus on precise tasks. There could even be therapeutic uses such as inducing anxiety with caffeine in order to train someone to combat it. I know what you’re thinking, and you are right, only in a perfect world would this not have negative consequences.

Addiction, damaged health and relationships, and death are all things that can go along with drug use. It will be difficult to determine the line that is drawn between a utility and a crutch when it comes to drugs. What it comes down to most I think is productivity versus maintenance. By this I mean are you using the drug to become a more productive person, or are you using it just for the maintain the level of drug in your body for no purpose other than to have it. I think people should have the free will to choose what drugs go into their body, that being said I think some more education is in order.

The war on drugs put we as a society in an odd place, we are not fully informed on what real drug use and patterns of addiction are. Before we go about taking drugs as we please we must first come to fully understand what it is to be addicted and what we can do to prevent it. I do believe that with what is available to us we should look at every drug as a way to improve our lives, and use them to make us the happiest, healthiest, and most productive people that we can be.

Truth in Image

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When I go out to dinner at a nice place, I wear a suit and a tie. When interviewing for a job I have my favorite button-up shirt with my black and red tie. When I’m running I like to wear my gray adidas sweatpants and a white undershirt. I have an outfit for almost every activity in my life, it’s a way of representing myself in an appropriate way. Imagine showing up to work one day shirtless, with a belly button piercing whilst wearing a speedo, odds are it wouldn’t yield a very positive response in the office. We use clothes to present ourselves in an appropriate way for the situations that we are in, and much like with clothes, we do this with our personalities as well.

Truth be told, there are very few people who actually know me. I don’t mean this in a negative way, on the contrary. People don’t truly know me because the image I show, or the way I present myself, is not very truthful. It is by nature that we do this, we put on our “outfits” so to speak where we feel it is appropriate. The image that you present to others of yourself can be a lie, but I find in most cases it is just a bending of the truth. We tend to exaggerate our positive features, and downplay our negative ones. Personally I play up my humor and smile, to distract others from my true self, a much darker self.

Trying to explain image is so difficult in words because it can be so vague. We have many different images that vary drastically by relationship. You want your boss to see you in a much different light than you want that cute person in the front of class to see you. Presentation includes so many things as well from what we wear to what we let others know about our personal lives to who we associate with, image is everything.

I find myself lying so often about myself to others, putting on a good face or giving a fake laugh, sometimes it makes me wonder whether or not it’s really a good thing. When exploring this train of thought more, one inevitably comes to another question, and that’s whether or not it’s a good thing for anyone to tuck away who they truly are from others.

It’s nice having control over what others think of you, it brings me great comfort to know that others will only know the things about me that I let them know. We are by nature social creatures, it brings us great joy to be included and accepted by others. It’s possible that if we all stopped filtering what parts of ourselves go out into the world, then many will not be accepted by others causing great pain. Being socially ousted can cause great emotional pain, but in many situations it could also be genuinely dangerous. Many with differing views or orientations are in danger by letting those views be known. Many members of the LGBT+ community put out a heteronormative image of themselves for their own safety, if we decided that it was time we all stopped filtering our image, then those individuals are now thrown into a perilous situation.

I do believe that if we all let ourselves be our true selves all the time, then initially there would be chaos. The truth can be ugly, and the truth can be shocking. Many with hateful ideologies keep it to themselves for fear of being a social outcast, these hateful views would come to light. Many with differing sexual orientation and gender identification will come out and most likely in greater numbers than anticipated. I do believe however, that once the chaos dies down, we will reach an equilibrium once again. I just wonder, once equilibrium is reached, will the world be a better and more accepting place, or a place more divided than ever before. Nobody can really know, but I think that it’s contingent on how different we all truly are. I fear letting others know how ill I truly am, for fear they won’t understand, and will treat me a way I wouldn’t like to be treated. However, if we were all totally honest, I may come to find that we all feel this way, and I would feel more connected to others than ever before.

I think right now it is best for me to keep up my image of a happy person. One day, society is going to reach the point where it can handle the shock of honesty, but I don’t believe that now is that time. As a collective, we just aren’t yet accepting enough, and I don’t believe we would be able to properly jump into being truthful all the time. There are no half measures here, if half of us were truly honest with our personal image, and half were not it would be a society torn. I therefore believe that the worst case scenario is being honest with others, when others are not ready to handle it. Since I believe that we all have more similarities than differences, I think if we all decided to be honest with the way we present ourselves, then it would grant society the best outcome. For now however, we must work towards tolerating each other before we can take any major leaps into finding out about everybody’s true self.

Perception and Death

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From the time that I was very young it was clear to me that vegetables tasted like shit. I mean you hear it everywhere, your friends don’t like eating vegetables, kids in shows don’t like eating vegetables, and the only reason you’re told to eat them is because they are good for you. Until recently I refused to eat most vegetables, until I realized it would take some conscious effort to get over the mental blockades that I had formed over the years. These blockades we create are often formed by what we experience around us, and for me, that experience was that vegetables were bad.

So there’s no good way to segue into this topic, so let’s just talk about some death. First off let me put it out there, death really fucking sucks, I’m not disputing that, but I think that it may be time to look at death in a different way. Death is tragic in the sense that the person you knew will never have the opportunity to interact with you again, however I believe that death is not all tragedy, on the contrary actually.

When one dies they are relieved of all worldly stresses and duties, of any pain they may have been experiencing, and of the fear of death. Our fear of death is intense, and weighs upon many with great force. Many say that we fear death because we fear the unknown, I don’t think that is true. I think we fear death because all of our lives we are told that death is something that we must fear. We have this feeling of responsibility to be sad after a death, to only speak well of the deceased, and to respect their remains. All of these things makes death a quite scary and unpleasant experience for the living.

 What I propose is simple; let’s take death at face value. Let’s acknowledge the pain of someone leaving but also be happy for the relief the death has brought to the ones who are deceased. Let’s not perform funerals in all black, in dark buildings and graveyards for all to see and wallow in. Let’s change our perception of death. Instead let’s celebrate the lives the dead have lived, speak of them truthfully, and acknowledge that death is just another part of life. If we can get over these mental blockades we have about how terrible death is, then maybe one day we can make the end of our lives seem a little less doomed and a little more hopeful.

My Purpose

I’m beginning this article now, appropriately, sitting on the curb in a McDonald’s parking lot. I’m here to tell you that life sucks, or at least it can suck. See when things are going to shit it can seem like they will always stay that way, this plays into the concept of learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is exactly as it sounds, it occurs when a person possesses the belief that no matter what they do, bad things that are going to happen will happen. So at that point when we’re down in the gutter, when life gives us a shit sandwich and not even a napkin or a cup of water, what are we to do? The answer to such a question, is ironically enough another question, and that is “What is my purpose?”. I promise I’m not going to run you around in circles here with vague philosophical answers, I’m going to try to answer that question the best I can, and answer it with inclusion of all beliefs and backgrounds in mind.

I’ve been living with depression for the better part of three years now and with that depression suicidal ideation has never trailed far behind. When you are suicidal you are at the point where you’re in a high noon situation with yourself, a classic duel between you (presumably the sheriff) and your depression (the bastard trying to raid the town). To win this duel you must produce an ideology to pull yourself out of it, that’s your weapon, your trusty piece. Also I will note, this is an extreme case, but can still be applied to anyone who has gone through a tough spot in their life (i.e. literally everybody). The ideology, or better put, purpose that I was able to produce out of this has to do with the human condition.

When thinking about our purpose popular trends tend to lean towards the nihilistic or the religious. Many believe that ultimately there is no purpose, that we will live or die leaving no distinguishable mark upon the universe. Others believe in a god, or a spiritual afterlife,  that is testing us or observing us and that we operate to serve that power. Now personally I reject the latter claim being as I was never able to find a faith or religion myself, however my claim does not discredit a theology in the least, but can coincide or reinforce it. Now on the former claim I do believe that in the grand scheme of things we do not matter, and all of our actions will eventually be forgotten; However, we are not in the grand scheme of things. We live in the now, we are emotional, and the things done now matter now. Ideologies looking at the grand scheme of things put us in the position of emotionless beings able to see the whole picture, but that is not us, which leads me to a more optimistic conclusion.

So during my darkest moments I asked myself “What if I will never be happy again?”, and then it hit me like bird shit on a hot day. I realized that happiness is the most important thing to the human condition. Think about all of the decisions that you make on the day to day, really think about them. Do you do anything that doesn’t in some way promote the happiness of yourself or others? Put quite simply, we like being happy, one could be the most unfortunate person on the planet and still live a wonderful life if they have found happiness in it. So I believe that our purpose here on this Earth is simple. We are here to try to make everyone as happy as possible on this crazy fucking ride we call life.

So to go back and answer the question “What if I will never be happy again?”, my answer now is that that is irrelevant. Even if it was possible that I would never be happy again (and I don’t think it is barring any sudden death) then it is still my purpose to try to promote the happiness of others, because we’ve got one go of things. We’ve invested so much time into our own lives, and have only got one ride on it, so while we’re here we might as well try to make the world as happy as we can possibly make it. I believe with all my heart, that that is our purpose here, and I hope that in your darkest time you can find some comfort in it. I know I have.