There’s an emptiness in me,
Right now.
Right now,
my chest is hollowed out.
Right now,
despair sounds dramatic.
Right now,
a sphere of nothing has never been more consuming.
I spent a lot today,
you see.
So many nerves.
So much speed.
Why must I go so fast?
Why must relaxing feel equal to waste?
I want to cry.
Rarely I do.
Darkness fills me,
and I smile.
A hole is to be filled,
No matter the filling.
I tell myself this.
I tell myself a lot.
-----
Oh my love.
Oh my sweet.
I long for you.
Your gentle all.
Smile honey!
Take the picture.
It’s moments like these we long to keep.
To hold and own.
You want all that you need.
And then…
Wait,
I’ll try again.
AND THEN YOU WILL BE WHOLE!!!
Pound your chest,
Rhyme and all.
You are strong,
You say.
You are life,
You pray.
You are all,
Just for today.
Let your spirits run my love.
Let your voice be heard!
-----
She is mean.
Why is she mean?
Why does she hurt me? Why does she hurt? Why does she? Why?
No.
Why? Why do I? Why do I get hurt? Why do I get hurt by her?
No.
Why? Why do I? Why do I let her? Why do I let her hurt me?
No.
Why? Why do I? Why do I hurt? Why do I hurt her?
Why?
Look into my gaze
Can you find it?
It is there
Need only to hear
I’ll consume you if you don’t first
The tornado will take you
The darkened teeth will trap you
The lips will surprise you
Look at me!
And listen while you’re at it
I have something for you
And you and you and you
They call it arrogance
I call it purpose
I have things to say!
But I doubt you’ll listen
(It speaks to me. It pulls at me.) “Come a little closer”, it says. “I have a wonderful secret for you”
Tell me your secret face. Tell me your truth (I’m not angry, I’m just desperate for answers).
“Only one?”
One for now shall do.
“Alright then. First, you must ask why you want truth. And then, you must laugh, because we both know your answer is not true. So, try again. And this we still grin in skepticism. Second, you must ask what this truth will serve. What will this truth be used for? And be careful, you’ll surely lie before anything else. Okay, do you have your plan? Do you know why you want truth and what it will be used for? Great. Here we go”
(I take a breath as the face collects itself. In and out, it does more than I know)
“There is a world for everyone. Yet, people refuse to go. Paradise unique for themself, perfect in their every way. And they still stay far away. Do you know why?”
(I have no answer for such a riddle)
“They’re scared you see. So scared. So scared that they don’t let themself be afraid. Can you imagine a fear so great that you don’t let yourself fear it? That you instead go your entire existence without it because that feeling of fear is just too much to bear”
(Silent I remained)
“Freedom comes in lashes. Only when you accept that there is something wrong do you begin to consider freedom. But many more dream of running than who actually do. Many more think to dance but never move. And many more hope for love, but know no other than blue”
Thank you face.
“And one more thing, if you think you care”
Of course.
“It’s not your job to tell them of this fear”
Then who’s is it?
“Their own”
