Tag: Mental Balance

Feeling for Now, Thinking for Later

We live in a very high stakes world where wasting anything is rarely practical.  Capital, time, love, or anything else that we value requires us to plan ahead so that we can use it efficiently as our life unfolds.

Our current economy makes us work for and save our capital to survive.  And this currency pays for everything, so we treat it with care. So yeah, you might wanna go downtown and buy shots for the whole bar, but you typically don’t.  It’s not logical for your future happiness to spend like this because unless you are Bill Gates, you will not enjoy how your bank account looks the next day.

Other examples include time and love.  Same as capital, these are things we must value and treat with care as well.  In some cases, one can be in a great relationship with a significant other, yet have to end it.  It has to end because although it may be good at the moment, it won’t be in the future.  

Trying to benefit our future selves is simply something we must consider to live a long, happy life.  The problem is we do not live in the future, we live in the present. I don’t know about you, but the “now me” hardly even aligns with the future me.  Yes, I probably should not spend the rest of the night watching Netflix, but if the mood strikes, now me might do it anyways.

We are creatures of the moment.  In short, it is because for thousands of years, the present is really all that mattered.  It was not until recently that our biggest fears went from a bear eating us to not having an updated resume.  Being in the moment and feeling in the moment makes sense, but it can also make life incredibly difficult. It is a lot harder being a motivated blog writer when my stomach keeps reminding me that I haven’t eaten all day.

My confusion on this topic branches from the idea of where this “logical” side is even derived from.  I use quotes because if we do live in the moment, then why are our future actions the ones we care about?  And what is to say that these “logical” actions are even going to help our future selves?

I believe the answer is that life is a gamble.  We take actions for our future self because, theoretically, our impending self will eventually become our present self.  We do not know for sure, but that is where the statistics and logic come in. I can die at any moment in my life, but statistically speaking it won’t.  So, if I won’t die soon, then I should probably plan for my future self. The best way to do so is by evaluating the important parts of my life now and taking the necessary steps to increase my chances of achieving them in the future.  

There is no guarantee any of these plans will work, but what is guaranteed in life?  This lack of guarantee is why I believe both our present self and future self matter.  A balance, in my opinion, will ensure the happiest, most fulfilling life.

I encourage you to balance your life.  You should strive to make your present self happy, but also understand that sometimes your present self needs to suck it up so that your future self can hopefully be happy as well.  You probably shouldn’t shop online until your credit card breaks, but maybe if that is really what you want to do then put a limit on your card, and find the best bang for your buck after a long day of work.  

I believe we should shoot to optimize how happy we are.  Sometimes that may involve going out with friends or it may involve working a late-night shift.  We live in the present, and I’m okay with that. We need to learn how to balance our now selves so that our future selves will be happy as well.

Life is a Balance

Image Credit: https://www.incimages.com/

Life is an interesting, unpredictable, puzzling, amazing journey. It is filled with memorable fun times, as well as inescapable hard ones. One that gives us moments of clarity, along with moments of endless insanity. Our journey is on a windy road, at an unclear time with no destination. Life is good and bad with little indication on what side of the coin we will experience next.

And it’s funny because of how subjective the journey really is. I’ve often wondered whether I have it tough or not. As most people do, we wonder if we have struggled and/or continue to struggle. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to terms that I can not answer this question because it’s simply phrased the wrong way.

I’ve been cheated on in the biggest relationship of my life. I’ve had an ex become suicidal and bipolar (which I could not help from blaming myself). Once I stood helpless as one of my closest friends began cutting themself. I’ve been heartbroken by the loss of friends, family, and lovers. I have divorced parents who raised me in polar opposite environments. And I am diagnosed with mild Asperger’s syndrome, asthma, mild scoliosis, and Celiac disease. I am constantly going in and out of the ringer with depression. And the occasional episode of insanity seems to trickle into my life whenever it can.

So yeah, life can seem pretty terrible, but it’s not that simple. Life is not about our bad times, it is about all of our times. It is what makes us who and how we are. All of those examples include experiences I have felt or still feel every day. I can live with these dilemmas because the things that have happened to me have also created me. And throughout all of this, I like who I am, as I believe everyone should since we are the only people we must live with for our entire life.

Now let me explain my blessings. Starting from a young age I excelled in intrapersonal and existential intelligence. I have maintained a decently funny personality with the ability to usually hold a fun and engaging conversation. I have both a mother and father that are in my life, who love me very much. Both of whom have provided me with a sufficient amount of money, which allows me the convenience of only working for my own income. I have been gifted with athletic ability and good looks, along with amazing friends and great relationships with dozens of people. I excel in college between my social and academic life. And I’ve had amazing romantic relationships with beautiful people, and honestly, I’m excited for my next. And best of all, I have discovered self-developed genuine happiness that largely makes me who I am today.

Life is a balance between the good and the bad. It is unrealistic to think people will never go through a struggle or endure pain, it is also pessimistic to think people only suffer. We all live on a balance between good and bad things that happen to us. Everyone goes through their struggles and everyone lives with their gifts. We all have knowledge that comes naturally to us and knowledge that is impossible to comprehend. We all have things we take for granted and things we feel we cannot live without. Everyone has good and bad parts of their life. We cannot control these things, and nor do I feel we should control them. 

We all endure different types of experiences and in response, we should learn to accept the bad and flourish in the good. To accept that the bad times will return, yet also understand that they will eventually end. Living a happy life is not living a life without pain, it is being able to turn that pain into strength. We should strive to understand that our struggles are what creates our purpose in life, and a life without a purpose is the only one we should never live. Life is an unpredictable balance of good and bad times, so let us strive to find the best in everything that comes our way.

Doctor Seuss once said, “Don’t be sad it’s over, be happy it happened”. This mindset is encouraging the ability to see the best in everything, to be able to say that yes it is bad, but also that it is good. I hope you find your balance, just as I did some time ago.

**A point to be made with this article is that I do not address forms of privilege. I find those systems of oppression to be a very different type of issue that I address in the linked blog post I have provided.**