What do you do with a thought that cannot be understood? Well, the person with the thought understands it, kind of, but others will not. How is the person so sure that nobody else will understand? Well, I suppose that certainty is part of the understanding as well.
So, why can’t others understand? I’ll tell you one thing for sure, it’s not because the thought barer is smarter or better than anyone else. No, that’s not the case. It’s probably just from time. Years of contemplation and ponder. Thoughts growing from others. Questioning to find assumptions that can be built into ideas that lead to new assumptions to grapple with.
And in this process, you eventually learn the trick to arrive anywhere new: You must let go.
Let go of so much. Finding, developing and then releasing. It’s the hardest part really. To allow yourself freedom from a thought that you birth yourself is a process no parent wants to go through with.
I guess this eludes to one wanting to question. One must want to know outside of knowing. And of course, this does not happen linearly. The path to this thought is not straight but instead winding. Curling up until you have made a full circle and then standing where you once did before, you are where you were, but now know of other places than there.
“A thought that cannot be explained is worthless”. That’s what I was told in twelfth grade. I never forgot. How stupid. To assume every bit of knowledge, thought, and way of being can be constructively collected into the words of language is to say a bucket with holes can eventually drain the ocean.
Words are but a sliver of a sliver of what our minds can generate. And so we can see knowledge and understanding but have no way of displaying it to others. We try to capture it sometimes. To transition it out of ourselves, into others. But it’s futile. This post is futile. Discussions are futile. Exchange is futile.
And the thing is it doesn’t have to be. This may sound like I’m am countering myself, and maybe to a point I am, but I assure you that I am not. Transferring experience can work when there is no transfer at all. When an exchange between two is really just one. When the egos are temporarily linked or gone all together throughout a conversation. This, and only this, is when a thought can stay how it was when moving to the next receiver.
You know, I didn’t understand why my blog was met with fear for so long. I didn’t understand why my beliefs, of which I found to be thought out and well developed, were rarely believed or disputed. Because at the beginning that was the point. Either agree or disagree and then add to the conversation in the way you please. But that did not happen. Instead, there was a silence. A quietness among thoughts.
Some would compliment me, few would criticize me, but it was rarely about the post or idea, instead, it was about me. It was a thank you to me, not the idea. Me for creating the idea and post, but not the thing itself. So strange I thought. People and are reading these, but still, a silence.
This is a problem. I feel a problem. I feel narratives walk around me calling themselves reality. I hear egos clashing as they say they mean well. And I sense a confusion among many who don’t even recognize that they are in fact confused. They don’t know why they are scared, but they know they are scared. They don’t know why they drink, but they know that they drink. And they don’t know why they do as they do, yet they do as they do.
And they tell themselves that they know. They justify. They rationalize. They make certainty in something they have never truly looked at, yet think it is the only thing they can know.
I know something too, but I can’t say it. It stands alone. It is a thought that can’t be spread because it will not be understood. Unless I am talking to myself, the words alone are nothing. It is everything that is the thing. The words, the picture, the feeling, the sound, the mindset, the emotion attached to it. It must all come together and only that thing as one is the thing itself.
What do I do with a thought that cannot be transferred? I mean, I don’t need to tell anyone. Other’s validation is only valuable by our own construct. And honestly… it’s probably for the best that I keep it to myself. It’s not fun when one has been identified with their previous thoughts… or really the experience their thoughts created for the receiver. It’s limiting. We bind others to our images of them, and then naturally they do the same to us.
Each thought is independent of the next. They flow together, sometimes, and bring rise to the potential of the next, but they are all their own. And at any point, they can stop. They stop because they were never really there to begin with.
Where am I going with this? Does it matter? No, it doesn’t. Ideas typically have a start and a finish. A process to bring you to this next checkpoint, and that process is the opportunity to influence. To let out those thoughts of yours and try to capture them in the method you prefer. I choose words, some choose music, others choose art, and so forth. Deep breathe in, it does more than you know, and just ask yourself what I thought I could not say. What the end could be without it being written. The thought nested in my mind, with nowhere to go, just a way of being.
