I’m beginning this article now, appropriately, sitting on the curb in a McDonald’s parking lot. I’m here to tell you that life sucks, or at least it can suck. See when things are going to shit it can seem like they will always stay that way, this plays into the concept of learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is exactly as it sounds, it occurs when a person possesses the belief that no matter what they do, bad things that are going to happen will happen. So at that point when we’re down in the gutter, when life gives us a shit sandwich and not even a napkin or a cup of water, what are we to do? The answer to such a question, is ironically enough another question, and that is “What is my purpose?”. I promise I’m not going to run you around in circles here with vague philosophical answers, I’m going to try to answer that question the best I can, and answer it with inclusion of all beliefs and backgrounds in mind.
I’ve been living with depression for the better part of three years now and with that depression suicidal ideation has never trailed far behind. When you are suicidal you are at the point where you’re in a high noon situation with yourself, a classic duel between you (presumably the sheriff) and your depression (the bastard trying to raid the town). To win this duel you must produce an ideology to pull yourself out of it, that’s your weapon, your trusty piece. Also I will note, this is an extreme case, but can still be applied to anyone who has gone through a tough spot in their life (i.e. literally everybody). The ideology, or better put, purpose that I was able to produce out of this has to do with the human condition.
When thinking about our purpose popular trends tend to lean towards the nihilistic or the religious. Many believe that ultimately there is no purpose, that we will live or die leaving no distinguishable mark upon the universe. Others believe in a god, or a spiritual afterlife, that is testing us or observing us and that we operate to serve that power. Now personally I reject the latter claim being as I was never able to find a faith or religion myself, however my claim does not discredit a theology in the least, but can coincide or reinforce it. Now on the former claim I do believe that in the grand scheme of things we do not matter, and all of our actions will eventually be forgotten; However, we are not in the grand scheme of things. We live in the now, we are emotional, and the things done now matter now. Ideologies looking at the grand scheme of things put us in the position of emotionless beings able to see the whole picture, but that is not us, which leads me to a more optimistic conclusion.
So during my darkest moments I asked myself “What if I will never be happy again?”, and then it hit me like bird shit on a hot day. I realized that happiness is the most important thing to the human condition. Think about all of the decisions that you make on the day to day, really think about them. Do you do anything that doesn’t in some way promote the happiness of yourself or others? Put quite simply, we like being happy, one could be the most unfortunate person on the planet and still live a wonderful life if they have found happiness in it. So I believe that our purpose here on this Earth is simple. We are here to try to make everyone as happy as possible on this crazy fucking ride we call life.
So to go back and answer the question “What if I will never be happy again?”, my answer now is that that is irrelevant. Even if it was possible that I would never be happy again (and I don’t think it is barring any sudden death) then it is still my purpose to try to promote the happiness of others, because we’ve got one go of things. We’ve invested so much time into our own lives, and have only got one ride on it, so while we’re here we might as well try to make the world as happy as we can possibly make it. I believe with all my heart, that that is our purpose here, and I hope that in your darkest time you can find some comfort in it. I know I have.