The Act of Dwelling

Imagine that in your hand that you have a book all about goats getting into trees. It is a pretty heavy book, probably around two pounds with a picture of a goat on the front and a bright blue border. Now take a minute to relax and think about whatever you like, except for the book, make sure to not think about the book under any circumstances. Take one minute to do this.

It was challenging wasn’t it? We as humans possess a lot of power over ourselves but there are still many things that we cannot control, and one of these is the emergence of thought. I mean sure we can confront our own thoughts and mold them the way that we like, but we do not have a say over when they come about. In the scheme of our whole body this seems insignificant, one of many autonomous functions out of our control, but it can have serious consequences on our daily lives. Disorders such as PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) and OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder) stem from a lack of control on emerging thoughts in the brain. We also have normal occurrences of this, like not being able to forget an embarrassing moment, or not being able to get your significant other out of your head at work.

Although perfectly normal, this process can bring some major stress to the lives of those who have continuously troubling thoughts. To think about why this is we can go back to the book exercise, as humans it is impossible for us to force thoughts to go away. We must employ a different method, one where instead of dismissing the thought, or attacking it, we accept it for what it is. This method is something originating from Steven C. Hayes who created ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), and I think it is ingenious.

The road to peace is paved with more peace, it is impossible to find resolution in an issue you are actively fighting with. One cannot expect a thought to no longer cause them trouble when they are at war with it, so one must disarm themself. When dark thoughts come what we must do is the opposite of what seems natural, we must acknowledge them and let them be where they stand. For instance when thinking about that time I wet myself on an airplane, I must not tell the embarrassing thought to go away because if I do, not only will it probably return but it will have more power over me. What I do is let the thought be, recognize that it is only a thought, and eventually my brain will not see the point in letting it hang around.

At first this can be a very challenging thing to do, some thoughts have a drawing power to them that is hard to pull away from. So what I propose to you is to notice what thoughts are entering your mind and think “Does this thought cause me harm, does it make me upset?”, if you answer yes then give this method a shot. First accept that it is just a thought in your head, then try to make peace with it being there. At first this may fail, it might even make it worse, but it is important to continue trying past that. Mastery of this skill can have very profound effects on a life, I am only a beginner and I am already seeing positive effects in my day-to-day. So I challenge you, it doesn’t even take much time, just notice your thoughts more and when something rotten pops it’s head out, try and invite them in this time.