Category: Mental Health

This category specifically aims to discuss mental health in a healthy way. One that will hopefully open our perspective on the topic, to allow growth and fulfillment. Between feel good posts and discussion on healthier ways to think, these posts will hopefully open your eyes to a happier reality.

The Act of Dwelling

 

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Imagine that in your hand that you have a book all about goats getting into trees. It is a pretty heavy book, probably around two pounds with a picture of a goat on the front and a bright blue border. Now take a minute to relax and think about whatever you like, except for the book, make sure to not think about the book under any circumstances. Take one minute to do this.

It was challenging wasn’t it? We as humans possess a lot of power over ourselves but there are still many things that we cannot control, and one of these is the emergence of thought. I mean sure we can confront our own thoughts and mold them the way that we like, but we do not have a say over when they come about. In the scheme of our whole body this seems insignificant, one of many autonomous functions out of our control, but it can have serious consequences on our daily lives. Disorders such as PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) and OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder) stem from a lack of control on emerging thoughts in the brain. We also have normal occurrences of this, like not being able to forget an embarrassing moment, or not being able to get your significant other out of your head at work.

Although perfectly normal, this process can bring some major stress to the lives of those who have continuously troubling thoughts. To think about why this is we can go back to the book exercise, as humans it is impossible for us to force thoughts to go away. We must employ a different method, one where instead of dismissing the thought, or attacking it, we accept it for what it is. This method is something originating from Steven C. Hayes who created ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), and I think it is ingenious.

The road to peace is paved with more peace, it is impossible to find resolution in an issue you are actively fighting with. One cannot expect a thought to no longer cause them trouble when they are at war with it, so one must disarm themself. When dark thoughts come what we must do is the opposite of what seems natural, we must acknowledge them and let them be where they stand. For instance when thinking about that time I wet myself on an airplane, I must not tell the embarrassing thought to go away because if I do, not only will it probably return but it will have more power over me. What I do is let the thought be, recognize that it is only a thought, and eventually my brain will not see the point in letting it hang around.

At first this can be a very challenging thing to do, some thoughts have a drawing power to them that is hard to pull away from. So what I propose to you is to notice what thoughts are entering your mind and think “Does this thought cause me harm, does it make me upset?”, if you answer yes then give this method a shot. First accept that it is just a thought in your head, then try to make peace with it being there. At first this may fail, it might even make it worse, but it is important to continue trying past that. Mastery of this skill can have very profound effects on a life, I am only a beginner and I am already seeing positive effects in my day-to-day. So I challenge you, it doesn’t even take much time, just notice your thoughts more and when something rotten pops it’s head out, try and invite them in this time.

Life is a Balance

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Life is an interesting, unpredictable, puzzling, amazing journey. It is filled with memorable fun times, as well as inescapable hard ones. One that gives us moments of clarity, along with moments of endless insanity. Our journey is on a windy road, at an unclear time with no destination. Life is good and bad with little indication on what side of the coin we will experience next.

And it’s funny because of how subjective the journey really is. I’ve often wondered whether I have it tough or not. As most people do, we wonder if we have struggled and/or continue to struggle. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to terms that I can not answer this question because it’s simply phrased the wrong way.

I’ve been cheated on in the biggest relationship of my life. I’ve had an ex become suicidal and bipolar (which I could not help from blaming myself). Once I stood helpless as one of my closest friends began cutting themself. I’ve been heartbroken by the loss of friends, family, and lovers. I have divorced parents who raised me in polar opposite environments. And I am diagnosed with mild Asperger’s syndrome, asthma, mild scoliosis, and Celiac disease. I am constantly going in and out of the ringer with depression. And the occasional episode of insanity seems to trickle into my life whenever it can.

So yeah, life can seem pretty terrible, but it’s not that simple. Life is not about our bad times, it is about all of our times. It is what makes us who and how we are. All of those examples include experiences I have felt or still feel every day. I can live with these dilemmas because the things that have happened to me have also created me. And throughout all of this, I like who I am, as I believe everyone should since we are the only people we must live with for our entire life.

Now let me explain my blessings. Starting from a young age I excelled in intrapersonal and existential intelligence. I have maintained a decently funny personality with the ability to usually hold a fun and engaging conversation. I have both a mother and father that are in my life, who love me very much. Both of whom have provided me with a sufficient amount of money, which allows me the convenience of only working for my own income. I have been gifted with athletic ability and good looks, along with amazing friends and great relationships with dozens of people. I excel in college between my social and academic life. And I’ve had amazing romantic relationships with beautiful people, and honestly, I’m excited for my next. And best of all, I have discovered self-developed genuine happiness that largely makes me who I am today.

Life is a balance between the good and the bad. It is unrealistic to think people will never go through a struggle or endure pain, it is also pessimistic to think people only suffer. We all live on a balance between good and bad things that happen to us. Everyone goes through their struggles and everyone lives with their gifts. We all have knowledge that comes naturally to us and knowledge that is impossible to comprehend. We all have things we take for granted and things we feel we cannot live without. Everyone has good and bad parts of their life. We cannot control these things, and nor do I feel we should control them. 

We all endure different types of experiences and in response, we should learn to accept the bad and flourish in the good. To accept that the bad times will return, yet also understand that they will eventually end. Living a happy life is not living a life without pain, it is being able to turn that pain into strength. We should strive to understand that our struggles are what creates our purpose in life, and a life without a purpose is the only one we should never live. Life is an unpredictable balance of good and bad times, so let us strive to find the best in everything that comes our way.

Doctor Seuss once said, “Don’t be sad it’s over, be happy it happened”. This mindset is encouraging the ability to see the best in everything, to be able to say that yes it is bad, but also that it is good. I hope you find your balance, just as I did some time ago.

**A point to be made with this article is that I do not address forms of privilege. I find those systems of oppression to be a very different type of issue that I address in the linked blog post I have provided.**

The World is Great

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I gotta say, we are awesome.  I mean have you ever taken a second to really think about how the world is great?  I cannot even begin to list all the things humanity has created and achieved. From our newest technologies to our insightful thoughts of the universe, we truly are an astonishing species.  The steps we have taken in such little time is absolutely remarkable.

Okay, here’s an example: take a second to consider what this little electronic box you are looking at is.  This device has capabilities that can range from watching a show about the daily life at the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company to sending texts across the country in the blink of an eye. Like… what?

Not to mention what a text message is.  I mean how in the world did we go from grunting and groaning at each other to creating words like gabelle (which means a tax on salt for some reason).  Somehow we were able to create a system that allowed for our thoughts to be presented in a structured way so that others could literally read about them.  This system was then spread and understood by billions with slight variations depending on the region.  

So what else?  Oh right, has anyone else taken a second to admire our ability to keep one another alive?  Sure we have individuals that try to shorten our lives, but wow do we have a lot of systematic ways to keep each other going.  Medicine is a compound, created by us humans, to prevent or treat most known diseases. Somehow we figured out that by combining certain herbs and chemicals we could create a remedy that not only improves our health but can also treat and cure certain illnesses.  I would love to give a high five to the first guy who did that magic trick.

We can also look at the outstanding structure of our communities.  I can literally get hurt almost anywhere and then a fancy motor vehicle will cruise in and take me to a place that is strictly designed to handle people in physical need.  And if I get hurt by someone else’s actions, a much scarier vehicle comes over and handles the situation with a bit more force. These services just happen. I do not know these people, but regardless they come and save my ass.  

Once they are done doing that, I typically get billed money.  Now, although money can be the root of a lot of evil, it is also a super helpful solution to an assortment of other problems we take for granted.  Money lets us work together. It gives us a numeric way to trade services so that we can pursue almost any job we want. Without money, I could really only feel safe being a farmer, as that is the only job I would be guaranteed a steady income.  If I was a carpenter, I would not be useful to a doctor, since we both have to eat and neither of us would have much food to trade. Money lets us work together in just about any profession we choose.  

What baffles me the most about all of these luxuries we take for granted is that we barely even know how they work.  The majority of us have no idea how it is possible to read this post I have written in a location different from the one you are in now, at a time different from now.  Or how the first person was able to make the sound of the word “thank you”. Or how medicine even begins to work. We have these luxuries and only understand each enough to use them, which I think is the coolest thing we have done yet.  Our ability to share and save information. It only takes one person’s discovery to improve the lives of billions.  

Now yes, I know there are a ton of problems in this world.  I know that billions suffer every day. I know that many of our discoveries eventually backfire or become used for the wrong purposes.  But I also know that the majority of them turn out to help everyone, even if it’s just a little bit. So as you sit in your cooled off room on this hot summer day because of a magic box that produces cold air, remember that although we have our problems, we also have found so many solutions.

Discovering Your Strengths and Weaknesses

What are your strengths and weaknesses? A rather simple question, yet so hard to answer. 

We see these questions come up in interviews, rehabs, conventions, emotional talks, essentially anytime we are expected to feel vulnerable. Times that we are told to look inside ourselves and reveal the light and darkness that makes us who we are. The joyful, energetic, fun, hilarious parts of us, along with the sad, angry, insecure, empty, dry parts of us.

This two-sided question is rarely asked of us and is typically avoided at all costs. We do not want to share these parts about us because it leaves us truly exposed. If you explain what is good about you, then you are saying what you take pride in. Whether it be the interviewer, social worker, friends or family, these people hear what you are proud of and then have the liberty to decide if they agree. They decide whether it be out loud or in their head if what you think is good about yourself is even present.

On the other side of this two-headed dragon of a question, you are asked to reveal what you hate about yourself. You are asked to talk about the thing that you may try every day to minimize and control, but continually fail. Then, as you talk about that thing, these people again have the freedom to decide if this trait is manageable or too much to handle for whatever the situation.

So, what are your strengths and weaknesses? In an unpressured, nonjudgmental manner I encourage you to find the answer to this question. Seeing ourselves for who we really are is one of the single hardest, yet rewarding, things we can do. 

It is crucial because once you know the answer to that question you begin to understand yourself from a better perspective. You can begin to understand your actions and emotions when certain situations occur. You then start to see yourself for who you really are and begin accepting both sides of yourself. Once you start to do that, I would bet your weaknesses will start to feel like strengths. 

I have found that the more of myself that I accept, the happier I have been. I cannot imagine you are much different. 

My strengths include my self-motivation, emotional awareness, and resilience. My weaknesses are my impatience, inability to be vulnerable in front of others, and overthinking. These are the things about myself that I have accepted and will continue to accept because they make me who I am. The good and the bad, the right and the wrong. 

And by no means am I ashamed of them. I do not hide these weaknesses and expect them to magically disappear one day. I have accepted them, and I am addressing them in the attempt to never have these weaknesses hold me back in life. And because of this I see myself for how I am, good and bad, wrong and right, happy and sad. 

Therefore, I will ask you one last time, what makes you strong and what makes you weak? Find your answer to this question and be aware that it may change as you do. Desires and fears are always changing as you experience life. This is why you must always be refreshing the question. Always battling the two-headed dragon with a different weapon, different strategy, different outlook. The dragon will never change, but how you slay it will define you time and time again. Your body and mind are forever changing until your inevitable death, so never stop questioning who you are. You live with yourself your entire life, you might as well get to know the person.

A Look at Drugs

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Without drugs in my life I would be miserable. To some this may seem wrong or shocking, but the importance of drugs in our daily lives is undeniable. When we are sick we take drugs, when we are bored we take drugs, when we are tired or in pain again we turn to drugs. I believe there is a certain way that drugs should be used, and I feel if all drugs were used in this way, we would see a huge improvement in our daily lives.

So what is a drug? The Oxford dictionary defines it as “A medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.”. I find this definition interesting because it does not specify whether or not drugs are good or bad. I think as the war on drugs continues the connotation of the word “drug” is almost entirely negative. How we should think about drugs goes beyond our ideas of what makes a drug good or bad, a drug like heroin could be used to benefit one’s life greatly, it just depends on its use.

There are two popular views on how drugs should be consumed. One view is that drugs should only be taken only if absolutely necessary. An instance of this would be someone taking antibiotics for a life-threatening infection. The other view is that people should use drugs in order to maintain the level of functioning of an average person in that society. In this case think of someone taking antidepressants to reach a baseline level of mental health. I believe however, that there is another ideology on when to take drugs. What if instead of viewing drugs as a crutch or a harm, we viewed them as tools.

Almost every drug has its use, even the most dangerous ones, it’s important to note this involves more than just illicit drugs but I’m going to touch on them specifically. We have been told to think that drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and methamphetamines are full of negative consequences with no upsides and it’s a lie. These drugs have very serious negative consequences but they also have legitimate uses such as pain relief, short-term, and long-term energy. I use these extreme drugs as an example to show that even the worst have uses as tools, but the less dangerous drugs contain far more uses in our lives.

If done correctly this could really change the way we perceive drugs, but also the way that we operate on the day-to-day. Alcohol could be seen as a social lubricant, marijuana as a relaxant, nicotine could be used to give short bursts of energy for when caffeine is too long-term. We could use adderall and cocaine to help us focus on precise tasks. There could even be therapeutic uses such as inducing anxiety with caffeine in order to train someone to combat it. I know what you’re thinking, and you are right, only in a perfect world would this not have negative consequences.

Addiction, damaged health and relationships, and death are all things that can go along with drug use. It will be difficult to determine the line that is drawn between a utility and a crutch when it comes to drugs. What it comes down to most I think is productivity versus maintenance. By this I mean are you using the drug to become a more productive person, or are you using it just for the maintain the level of drug in your body for no purpose other than to have it. I think people should have the free will to choose what drugs go into their body, that being said I think some more education is in order.

The war on drugs put we as a society in an odd place, we are not fully informed on what real drug use and patterns of addiction are. Before we go about taking drugs as we please we must first come to fully understand what it is to be addicted and what we can do to prevent it. I do believe that with what is available to us we should look at every drug as a way to improve our lives, and use them to make us the happiest, healthiest, and most productive people that we can be.

The Little Things

I guess sometimes life is about the little things.  The moments when you help a friend or make a new one.  The times you talk all night because the person on the other line can’t imagine being alone.  Or when you give a friend a ride home so that they can finally crawl out of their shell and let out their demons.

These actions require both emotional stability and empathy.  In these moments you need to prioritize another human over yourself.  You need to walk into their shoes and feel around. Listen to what they say and touch what they feel.  After some time you will hear and feel clearly through their perspective. You will be a part of them, and in many ways, you will be them.

It is then when you feel the pain they feel, you must also feel the happiness they feel.  It is buried very deep within them, but nonetheless, it is there, just hiding. Their hope, their peace, and most all, their purpose, are all hiding in the back of their minds.  Hiding from the light and being absorbed by the darkness.

When uncovering this light you cannot miss a beat or break a sweat.  You cannot seem weakened or discouraged. You must present their happiness as an equal and allow this person to watch as you hold their happiness with confidence and hope.  You would show this person the light that they believed was nonexistent and offer it to them. Eventually, they will hopefully follow your steps and gratefully take it from you. For those moments, and hopefully many more, this person will be able to hold onto the happiness that they thought they lost. 

As you watch this individual have their moment of clarity, the hardest part follows.  You must take off their shoes, prioritize yourself again and resume how you once were.  Unchanged and stable. This process is difficult but not impossible. And when looking, as yourself, at the happiness your friend now holds, it makes it all worth it.  Because at that moment you see more than they do. You see past this issue and look at the greater picture. You see hope. Hope that the world will grow. Hope that the world has a chance.  Hope that you, yourself, can help heal it.  

These moments can happen within minutes and give a lifelong memory.  I have experienced this in many types of relationships. The one commonality I have found with these experiences is what it creates after.  A bond is formed that is pure and true. One that I like to think of as simply a true friend.

I have seen so many people believe that they are the center of the universe and that they must prioritize themselves before anyone else.  In a way they are not wrong, it’s your body, and who else is going to keep track of it if not you? Yet in such a globally connected world it would be nice if we were connected by more than just our cell phones and Snapchat streaks. 

What I describe in the previous paragraphs is the ultimate connection.  The connection between two individuals that for a split second, are closer to being one than two.  As a human race I believe we should strive to have as many of these connections as possible. If we become connected, the world would be a much more understanding place.  When one understands their neighbor, they are more likely to bring cookies, rather than complaints. When one understands their rival’s motives, they are more likely to find an agreement, rather than an argument.  When one understands the pain billions suffer every day, the more likely they are to donate millions to those very people. 

My intended takeaway from this post is to please make a connection.  A real connection. One that involves you to not be you. One that makes you them, and if you do this enough you will eventually come to realize that they are the same as you, and always will be. 

“We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” – Maya Angelou

What is Depression?


We live in a world where we don’t know our future, yet we hope it will be a good one. Isn’t that nice? We have hope for better days and this hope maintains our way of life. If I knew I was bound to be homeless by the age of forty, would I bother to continue my academic advancement? If I knew I would end up marrying someone I didn’t love, would I bother to continue pursuing a romantic partner? And if I knew my child would die before their eighth birthday, would I bother to have them in the first place? I don’t believe I would. 

The nice part is that I don’t know how things will end up for me. Because of this, I do plan on graduating college, I do plan on marrying someone I love, and I do plan on having children (well… I might). Hope is the motivation to push through the rough times so that you can once again reach the great times. It is the feeling that allows us to be optimistic about the future, which gives us the courage to try to find and maintain happiness. I feel that this hope is what pushes me, and everyone, every day to feel we can succeed and have a great life.

Yet, some people do not have hope. Some people cannot feel hope like the rest of the world does. They feel trapped when they are outside. They feel alone in a crowd of people. They feel empty when they do the things that make them happiest. These people are in danger every day yet look safe as can be. 

Many of these individuals have depression. Depression is not just sadness like many people think. It is a deep-rooted feeling of emptiness that consumes all other emotions and replaces them with a feeling of death. 

Most of the time when people are sad they know that they are sad and hate how they feel. And a lot of the time they just want it to end so they can move on. This is not how depression typically works. 

Depression is a feeling that appears to never end. It creates the illusion that this deep-rooted sadness one feels will never stop because they believe it is who they are rather than what it is happening to them. Their life becomes sadness, rather than the sadness infecting their life. True darkness is not when a room is without light, but instead when that room has no light ever coming back. When the Sun will never rise. When the light switch will never be flipped. When one’s eyes will never open again. 

Depression is a disease that kills. It kills how the person thinks, feels, acts, and whatever else that lets them feel human. Eventually, the idea of doing anything seems too painful, too time-consuming. Going to work, showering, eating, and simply getting out of bed seems like too much work in such a dark world. In a world without hope what is there to push us, to better ourselves? What is there to make us be how every human should be? There isn’t, there wouldn’t. Society would not function because nobody would function.

Depression is a very real and dangerous disease. It is one that should not be taken lightly, and it is one that should be understood. We should try to understand what our neighbors, our co-workers, and maybe even our loved ones go through every day. I am not saying they all have depression, but the stigma for this disease is enough for millions to go untreated every year. Millions of people suffer through this darkness alone every year, and they will continue to if we don’t talk about it. So please do. Please show these unlucky individuals how to have hope once again. Show them the light that they could not find. Open the blinds, flip the light switch, and let them open their eyes to the beautiful world around them.

How Vulnerability can lead to Invincibility

Vulnerability is the state of being exposed to possible harm or attacks, either through physical or emotional means. Almost nobody wants to feel this, yet arguably everyone needs to. 

With few exceptions, people are born with the need to emotionally connect. This commonality largely leads to our desire for comfort and well-being. In short, we want to be happy. It’s that simple. A way to ensure such happiness is to minimize emotions that go against it. To do this, many of us attempt to minimize our vulnerability, our state when discomfort can affect our well-being. Our intentions are clear cut, but the consequences of these actions are damaging.

To reiterate, vulnerability is defined as a state of possibly being attacked emotionally and physically. Both mental and physical components of our well-being are affected by our vulnerability to certain situations. Yet there is a reason why we, the public conscious, mostly associate vulnerability with mental attacks. 

Humanity has created a society that allows physical safety for us. Yet this is a fairly recent achievement. Of humanity’s two-hundred thousand years of existence, only five percent of that has been spent building civilizations. Before that we spent our days running around, looking for our next meal. In those years of do or die, we learned many skills and ways to think, one of which was to contain our vulnerability from the outside world.

Nowadays, the typical person is much safer physically than his or her ancestors. Because of this, our physical defenses have gone down over the centuries and been replaced by mental ones. The shift in how we defend ourselves has allowed people the ability to close themselves off from others. The issue with this is that people cannot suppress one emotion and leave the rest untouched. In my personal experience and research, attempting to suppress one emotion will result in all of them being suppressed.

The worst part is that our technological innovations have made this work easier. How many times have you looked down at your phone rather than exchanging a slightly awkward ‘hello’ with someone? At that moment we feel insecure because we don’t know our relationship with that person. Instead of addressing it, many of us take the easy way out and ‘happen’ to be looking the other way. We still walk past that person, but it feels a whole lot easier because mentally we are miles away. 

This phenomenon is also partly why I believe people get mentally addicted to objects and activities.  Whether that be a phone, drug, alcohol, food, or sex, we begin to rely on these things because they make us feel less vulnerable. When under the influence, people enter a different headspace that distracts them from their psychological pain (not to mention most drugs flood the brain with dopamine, a chemical that causes happiness). Addicts need an emotion, or lack of one, and find that relief in something external to them, no matter the consequences. 

I think we can all agree that we would rather feel happy than sad. The harder question is how do we achieve this? How do we, ourselves, minimize sadness, rather than having something suppress it? I think the answer to this question is by allowing our vulnerability to coexist with us, by accepting that it is an emotion that is as valid as any other. Our emotions make us who we are, and we should be proud of them, all of them.

Not just the part you want to see, but the whole thing.  Yes, the glorified Instagram image of you is great, but the picture of you before you understood that hardly anything matches with orange is just as important.  The A you got in mathematics should make you proud, but so should the C you got in Spanish. We should strive to see ourselves for who we are and smile anyways.

Not just that but we also need to take risks.  To not hide in our phones when we are unsure whether to wave at the person walking past us.  We should instead look them in the eyes and say hello. Sure, they may not say it back, and you may feel embarrassed, but who cares.  At least you tried, and maybe next time that person will say hi to you after he or she reconsiders their action. This fear of being vulnerable and looking weak needs to end.  We are all weak in some ways, and we are all strong in other ways. Let’s embrace that and be proud of who we are, who we truly are.