Death is all we ever Earn

It’s not subtle
As much as they protest
This feeling of death
That slices up my chest
 
It takes my ears for a ride
I am told to open wide
Stop the delay 
And listen here, 

“if you don’t come… you’re a queer!!”
Blood drooling from the nose
I learned to fear the word,
too long ago to know

I can’t stand their anticipated hate
They wait and wait,
until I’m about to faint
Until I unleash what I try to stow

Close to death
Or vulnerable alike
I hold back my demons
With all my might

They giggle
Just as the sun can scorch your eyes
The longer I hear it
The less I feel alive

I want them to stop
Meddling with my ears
Threatening to call me
that fucking sneer

Leave me alone
I can only conjure
Vibrating rage
They hush so that it goes longer

They watch without mercy 
With those eyes
As I boil 
In my own demise

I hate them for this
More than they can ever know
I throw myself
At their crooked throats

They scream
For once not at me
and I get power
that I thrust upon thee

Still past a boil
nothing wains
I want them gone
For their life to be drained

Fear in their eyes
Now I see mine
Looking desperately 
to the sky

I question my hate
Maybe it’s wrong
I let go
I move along

They of course never learn
I continue to burn
But I wonder
If death is all we ever earn

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