I would like to begin this story on August 17th, 2149. That day I woke up with one thought on my mind: today is the day. I was in the prime of my life. At 16 years old, it feels like the world is yours for the taking, as long as you are ambitious enough to reach for it. And that is exactly how I felt on Union Day.
Jeffery and I had been perfect together from day one. We both grew at exceptional rates, far above the average height of our peers. He was also gifted with a natural physique that many resented him for. The outline of his prominent muscles seemed to bulge out with every outfit he wore. Complemented with my interpersonal intellect, and lack of genetic illnesses, we seemed to be the perfect match.
My hands couldn’t stop shaking. I just kept thinking over and over again, this is it! Sure, I had been busy all my life adding to my community, which we call Nirvana. Between unclogging Bertha, standing post, or cleaning after meals, there was always something to do. That’s how it was in Nirvana…and always had been. We were told staying busy and maintaining a purpose was the only way to live.
Being a third-generation, I was only told stories of the world before. One with billions of people, yet almost no resources. They said how everyone knew of this issue, I believe it was commonly referred to as climate change, yet little was done about it until it was too late. The leaders were too fixated on the short-term future to see what was coming. I believe it wasn’t until 2042 that major action finally began, but by then everyone started taking matters into their own hands. Citizens revolted and tried to gather anything they could. There was a scarcity of every resource and once the people at the top knew that, the real chaos came. Nuclear strikes were sent all over the world. With countries attempting to maintain what was theirs or what “should” be theirs, nuclear explosions covered the Earth.
Thankfully, a couple hundred friends and families prepared for this day. They invested everything they had into a bomb shelter, years prior to the end. This shelter was stocked with enough resources and sustainable equipment to last 25 years. After that time the radiation had mostly worn off and the Great Winter had restored the Earth to a cooled, sustainable climate. Placing the shelter in a valley, the original founders correctly assumed that the radiation would mostly miss our new home. It only took us a few months after the Great Winter for us to be fully moved out of the underground bunker and into Nirvana. With our water pump, hydroponic-based garden, reusable energy producers, and meat brew, which we like to call Bertha, Nirvana became our new fully functioning outdoor shelter. In short, we got lucky and took action; the rest of the world did not.
Contrary to what you may think, our history was not kept from us. Everyone knew of the old world, we just didn’t care. It happened then, but what is more important than ‘then’… is now. Now, it was Union Day and now is what matters.
I can still remember the rush I felt going to the town square. I remember walking down with Nancy and Jorge. All three of us had been on meal prep duty when the five o’clock bell rang. Yes! This is it! It’s finally happening! Both being picked, Jorge and I were nearly jumping out of excitement. Attempting to hold our joy in for Nancy’s sake, we giggled as we skipped down the path to the town meeting.
In a sympathetic way, I felt for Nancy. It was not her fault she was born with unsuitable dietary restrictions. She could not help it, and sadly neither could anyone else. She was not banished or mistreated in any way because of her genetic limitations but was instead held back from participating in Union Day. She was put on a list of reserves, as were others if dire needs arose. Other than that, she would only limit our existence.
The town center was a marvelous area where everyone in Nirvana would meet to discuss plans or concerns for our people. With such fresh grass and bright green trees, you would find yourself sitting there for hours taking in the world around you. Outside of the center, Nirvana was aligned with twenty wooden buildings on each side of the center in a circular shape. Encircling it, our town had a balanced feel to it. I seemed to never find myself too far from any building, or too isolated from anyone else. The final layer of our town was the wall. A rather primitive tactic, but effective nonetheless. The wall was put up as a precaution. The founders never thought anyone or anything was left alive after the bombs, but to be safe, the wall was built.
I remember breathing in the fresh, summer air when my name was called to step forward. Everyone was there looking at me and the other eleven participants with dancing fire in their eyes. At that moment I felt more important than I would even feel again. I held onto my family’s hands as we braced to hear our matches.
Jack, our leader, was calling out each participant’s name with their assigned match. Jack was a middle-aged man in exemplary physical shape with a constant positive attitude. Always wearing a smile, he really knew how to light up a room, while simultaneously maintaining his position of leadership in a respectable way. He was beloved in our community and I could think of no one better to guide us through any tough or happy times Nirvana will face.
Reading from the list of names, he smiled at us as he said, “Jane and Greg, Julia and Matt, Anna and Will, Shelby and Justin, Ophelia and Jeffery…”
Yes, I knew they would match me with Jeffery. I just knew it! Looking down the line, I met Jeffery’s glittering blue eyes and we shared a smile with one another. We were going to make the greatest child Nirvana has ever known!
Sparing the intimate details, we had quite a night, and let me say it was not as magical as I thought it was going to be. Nonetheless, when the act was done we simply embraced one another and then went back to our duties. It was odd seeing him after. I was told that I may feel gravitation towards him for a few months after, but to not worry for it is simply an instinct that we needed to resist. The doctors explained that this feeling could be satisfied with everyone, instead of just one person. By buying into these primitive instincts, we would ensure a similar end as our ancestors. I found this to all make sense of course, and sure enough within a few weeks I was seeing him as the same old Jeffery I had grown up with.
It was seven weeks later when Nirvana was met by its first visitor. I was half asleep on guard duty when my entire world was flipped upside down. Just like any other Wednesday night, I was given guard duty from 1:00 to 7:00 AM in the north sector. And let me start off by saying, I fucking hate that job. Not only is it exhausting, but it is also soooo unnecessary. Fighting to stay awake, the closest I ever came to seeing anything move was in my half-dazed shameful naps. I would typically spend the entire six hours of hell pleading that anything moved so that I could get up and do something.
About an hour into my shift, when my eyelids were just starting to feel heavy, I noticed something move in the distance. A bush jiggled. I didn’t believe my own senses at that point and proceeded to let my eyelids weigh themselves down. Yet just as I was about to begin my daydreaming of things “actually moving”, the bush jiggled again. Wait. Am I actually seeing that? Did it actually just…The bush juggled again. With no hesitation, I hastily wake my senses. Focusing on where I had seen the movement, I squinted my eyes, leaned in, and locked my sight onto the bush. Then, just as before, the bush jiggled again. How in the world? Even my thoughts were confused. I didn’t feel scared, my emotional self was instead filled with an overpowering sense of curiosity. I knew that I should call in the movement and stand by until help arrived, but what would be the fun in that. As the bush jiggled again, I slowly began to descend from the wall.
Probably out of laziness and disbelief that the wall would ever be needed, it only reached as high as ten feet. With a couple of careful maneuvers of sliding my hands and shoes in between the cracks of the wood, I safely jumped down on the outside of Nirvana. I had never been outside of my home during the night before. In my free time, I would occasionally walk the outside of the perimeter with a few friends, but never at night. Unless on guard duty or some other registered activity, nobody was allowed outside of Nirvana at night. It was commonly understood that it simply wasn’t safe to do because nobody actually knew what lies in the rest of the world.
But honestly, I felt fine. With minimal clouds and a first-quarter half-moon shining bright just above the horizon facing me, I felt as safe as ever. Staying low to the ground, I slithered from shadow to shadow in the cold summer night. Moving from tree to tree, bush to bush, I must have been ten feet from the bush when I heard a faint, “Hello.” I instantly dropped and tried to surround myself with the night’s darkness.
“You don’t have to be afraid”, the voice said. “I was hoping you would come down so that we could talk.”
“Who are you?”
Stepping from the buses, an elderly man with a thick white beard and boney arms emerged with his hands up. He had a small backpack on along with rags for clothing. From the mix of the darkness and his gray clothes, he looked more like a ghost rather than a human. Yet unlike any ghost I had ever imagined, there seemed to be a glow of positivity coming from his eyes. He warmly smiled at me and slowly lowered his hands.
“My name is James Alexander the IV, and I do not want to hurt you.” With a chuckle, he said, “I may not be able to even if I tried.”
I had never seen a man in such bad shape or anyone outside of Nirvana for that matter. He seemed so close to death, yet so positive I found myself at a loss for words. I didn’t even know where to begin with him.
“Where are you from? Why is your name so long? How are you alive? Are you okay? Do you need water?”
Calming down enough to think rationally, I unscrewed my water bottle and handed it to him. Thanking me, he proceeded to drink the water as he prepared to answer my questions.
“I am from Seattle, which was once a huge city before the Apocalypse”
“The Apocalypse?”
“Yes, the day that the nuclear bombs dropped and wiped out the human race.”
“Oh, you mean The Calling?”
“Well… whatever you call it, it was the end. I survived because of my father. Knowing the bombs would come, he had my sister and I moved from the city and genetically altered so that radiation would not harm our bodies. It is because of my family’s wealth and love for their children that I was given another chance on this Earth.”
Even at sixteen years old I knew better than to ask about his sister. I instead tried to make sense of his story.
“So you have been roaming the Earth looking for supplies and people ever since?”
“Correct there wasn’t much left after the bombs, but there was always something for the two of us. It was nice at times, just me and her. For a while, we felt no desire to find anyone else, for we had ourselves and that was enough. But when she passed, I knew I had to keep looking for someone or at least something. And here you are, with your something.”
We smiled at one another. Before I could ask my next question, however, the sirens started blaring. We rarely used the sirens since it was mostly seen as a waste of energy. I could tell James was scared and before I could reassure him, a spotlight was flashed onto us. With no hesitation, he threw his hands in the air and looked to me for help.
Advancing quickly, two men approached us, which I later identified as Joe and Logan. They pinned James to the ground and put his arms in a lock so that he could not escape. I had never seen anyone use such force before. Why were they hurting him? What had he done wrong?
Jack then approached me and asked if I would walk with him. As he took me away from the scene, we talked about what had happened… Well, it was more like he asked and I answered. I told him everything and then proceeded to ask where James was being taken. Ignoring my question, he took me back to my home and reassured me that James would be fine, that they were just taking precautionary steps.
Regardless of his promise, I could not sleep. Sleeping requires one to feel relaxed and safe, and I felt neither of those things. Something wasn’t right, that much I knew. I couldn’t just lay there, I knew I had to do something. Slipping out of my bed, and into the night, I went to find James.
It was not hard to find where they put him since he would be the only source of commotion this late at night. I followed the trail of voices and light until I found where they had taken him. It was just off of the town center, near the gardens. They had him tied up in one of the greenhouses. Creeping close to the building, I was able to get a glimpse of Jack as he paced back and forth in front of James. He seemed confused, but most of all he seemed worried.
“You will ruin us”, Jack said. “This place is far too fragile for your ideas…the old ideas.”
“The old ideas? Are you mad? What do you believe is so different about your new world? What could you possibly be kidding yourself about? Humans will do what humans do, it is in our DNA.”
“But it doesn’t have to be. We can grow, we can change. We have to change and therefore we will.”
“Change to what? To creatures that do not question? Animals that accept what they have instead of creating more?”
Jack stared at him a little while before saying, “Your kind…”
“My kind?”
“Yes, you’re kind. You never saw the bigger picture and therefore destroyed everything we had.”
“We had nothing. To destroy something assumes there was something, to begin with. At least then we were ambitious. We fought to live, not survive. And human beings will live before they survive, that much will never change.”
“Well… Not anymore!” With that, Jack stomped out of the greenhouse in a fury.
I didn’t know what they were talking about, but I knew I wanted to know more. Slipping into the greenhouse, as quiet as a cat, I closed the door and crawled over to James. Just as I was about to sit next to him, a rush in my stomach fell over me. Thankfully for James, I emptied my last three meals onto the floor towards the door. The vomit was so unexpected and violent that it took me a few moments to gather myself. Once stable, I sat down giving James an apologetic smile.
“Well that was quite the entrance,” said James.
“I was told this may happen with pregnancy, but I didn’t expect it to start now”
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yes,” I said. “I was selected for Union Day seven weeks ago.”
“What is Union Day?”
“It is our society’s semi-annual celebration of birth. I was honored to be selected and have my genes continued through intercourse with another participant.”
“You have a sex holiday?”
“I suppose you can call it that, but it is more about the continuation of our genes and species.”
James looked confused “But isn’t it more than that? Who is the father?”
“Father?”
“Yes, the father of your child.”
“We do not specify fathers and mothers by whose genes we were gifted. Instead, everyone is brother and sister. We are all family here.”
“Hm, I suppose that is nice, but what about the person you created the child with? What is he to you? Do you have no personal feelings for him or even the ones who created you?”
“I did, but now I don’t. These primitive instincts only lead to the destructive and unproductivity of humanity. Therefore, we do not let those thoughts consume us.”
James looked annoyed. I believe in a way he knew there was nothing he could say that would make me think otherwise that night. He understood the arrogance of humanity and if he was going to make me understand it would not be about the battle, but instead the war.
He said, “What do you care about most?”
“Nirvana,” I said. “It is my home and the people here are my family.”
“And why do you care about your family? What is it that makes your family and home worth loving?”
And that is where my brain stopped. I did not know. I did not know why I loved my family and my home. I did not know why I cared to keep them safe or why I cared to keep them fed. I could not even tell why I cared to continue their existence or why I wanted to maintain our legacy and produce a new baby for the world. I just knew that I wanted to.
“Because you have to,” he said. “Because surviving means living. If we are to survive in this world we must also live in it. We must give purpose to the things we do not understand and strive to fulfill them regardless if we can. You speak of primitive thought as if you have conquered it, but instead you have fallen subject to it. Just as I and everyone have. To be human means to live a lie. And that is why the human race must end. We are not going to change and unless we are stopped we will continue to hurt everything around us! We are the pain and suffering that we work so hard to end! We are the monsters…”
With his last words, I felt a rush, a pain as if I had been punched in the face. What he said was wrong, it must be. He was twisting my thoughts and laughing at my struggle. He was a madman and he was going to infect my home unless he was stopped.
The rest is a blur. Looking back at it I suppose my anger was a way to hide from my fears. To resist his sanity and replace it as an attack on me. I yelled for Jack and told him of the infectious thoughts James was going to spread. How he planned to end Nirvana.
Then to my disbelief, Jack walked up to James and did what I partially did not think was possible. He bent down, grabbed James by the head and chin, and snapped his neck into two.
I was at a loss. I had never seen anyone die, and I never thought I would have to. I was simply empty. Not angry or sad, I suppose confused, but most of all empty. I couldn’t even process my first question… my first thought. Eventually, a few others came and helped Jack move James’s body. Feeling death in my gut, I followed them to the wall. When opening the gate, I was held back from following and couldn’t even process the idea to resist. As I watched James’s lifeless body drift away in the night, I just stood there wondering if this was all real.
Later that night Jack and one of our doctors talked to me. All I remember of our talk was that it had to be done for the improvement of Nirvana. After making sure I was physically okay, I was scheduled to meet with a therapist every day until she felt that I was fully functioning. I showed the doctors, and all of Nirvana for that matter, what they wanted to see, a young bright person ready to support her home and family in any way possible.
A few months later I had a miscarriage and was never allowed to participate in Union Day again. Their reasoning was that my stress levels were too high, which created a risk for any offspring I could produce. I cared about the loss of my child, but that care was numbed. Numbness seemed to be my only feeling from that long night with James.
Years went by and I maintained my work. I did my duties and whatever else I could for my family. That never changed, but part of me felt it should. I didn’t know if what James said was right, but what I did know was that it could be. He could be right or Nirvana could be right. We could be a ruthless cycle of death and destruction, or we could be an experiment that needs to keep altering the ingredients until we get it right. I didn’t know the answer, and I suppose nobody else does either. We all have our assumptions and from there we all build our knowledge.
I write this story so that my experience does not die with me. I don’t know if it will serve as justice or chaos. But what I do know is that it happened. I think we should not look to change what has happened just because it does not agree with what we wanted to happen. Humanity destroyed itself along with most of the planet once. It may do it again because it has to, but we won’t know if it will – until it does. I suppose all I can recommend is that we hold onto what we value until that day and hope it never comes, but know that it very well may be inevitable.
Life may not be as absolute as we assume it to be, but regardless we feel it. What I do know is that whether it is true or not, that joy I felt on August 17th was like no other. The rationale behind that feeling might have been false, but the feeling itself was pure. And I would give anything to feel that purity one last time. One last moment in the sun, holding hands with my brothers and sisters, waiting for Union Day to begin.