This category includes our unique perception of the world. One that goes against conventional wisdom, in the attempt to find a closer truth in an unbiased manner. It is advocating for the point of view you were rarely taught, but have always considered.
I am not going to lie, this realization is not a “happy” one. I use quotes on this term simply because of how relative it is. How relative our definition of what is happy and what is sad. In truth, there is nothing sad about this realization, but regardless sadness is typically our initial reaction to ideas like this one. This idea is that life is a trap.
Before I continue with this I would like to clarify my definition of a trap. A trap is something one does not mean to get into, yet does anyways. Something people or things try to avoid, yet are tricked into walking in. They are tricked into this trap because they believe it is “their” decision. A squirrel runs into a snare because it believes the peanut butter is easy pickings. A person sends money to a Nigerian prince because they believe that they will get gold in return. A trap lets you believe you are making your decision for your own interests, but in reality, you are doing it for the trapper’s interest.
Now how in the world is life a trap? Life is a trap because we have the illusion of control and free-will in our decisions and who we are. Life is seen as something we experience, rather than something we are a part of. We do not choose who we are or who we become. We don’t experience life, we are life. Individually, each and every one of us are life that functions as life is supposed to. And one of those common functionals for complex life is to give meaning to itself. By creating meaning and purpose, there is motivation to continue itself and its species lifespan.
The blunt, objective reality is that nothing matters. To be more exact, nothing even exists in the concrete, defined way we interpret it as. A computer is not a computer. A dog is not a dog. Life is not life. These things have no ultimate definition or meaning to them. They are created by ourselves to make the illusion of what we consider life. To make the illusion of progress and purpose. This illusion is a trap because it is something we believe we are in control of when in reality we just do exactly what a living species is supposed to.
We are creating the trap of life, which we call the world. One with hope. One with goals and ambitions. One that is yours for the taking if you are ambitious enough. And look how false it is. Look how not real it is. How fabricated it is. I see reality, the concrete reality, as everything around us, yet never we can identify with.
This now begs the question of the who trapper is. If there is a trap, then there must be someone who set it. Ironically, I believe we are the trappers. Each and every one of us have created the trap of life for ourselves. This makes sense because who can live like I have been describing in the last couple of paragraphs. Who can live with nothing? Who can live as nothing? Not humans, that much I can guarantee, and probably not any life for that matter. So whether it be conscious or not, ironically, we are the creators of a trap we all “consciously” walk into. We are the trappers of ourselves and our trap is the illusion of how we define and give purpose to the world around us.
This idea seems sad because it is exactly what we, as the trappers, attempt to avoid. It is the line of thinking that in many cases is the pill we never swallow. The thing is it doesn’t have to be sad, because just like anything, sadness is not sadness. Nothing is clear cut, and therefore nothing has to be reacted a certain way. By stepping out of the trap humanity has created for itself, comes the end of one reality. The end of one “truth”, which then probably leads to another “truth”.
One should wonder that if that is the case, then is there even a point to get out of this trap if we will naturally just create another one for ourselves? The answer is I have no idea. I haven’t the faintest clue of what is outside of our trap. As of now I just see darkness, but my bias to see darkness could very well be clouding the light at the end of the tunnel. My ingrained way of thinking within the trap could simply make me assume there is nothing outside of it.
Therefore, I have no answer. I have no idea, and I may go my whole life not knowing, but you don’t know until you try. So my one request is to consider this abstract thought. Not because it is a better way to think, or even necessarily going to lead to anything, but because it is a truer way to think with incomprehensible potential.
** Haha, but oh do things change in life. Follow the link to a post that addresses this idea, yet finds the most important idea that this post accidentally leaves out. Yes, everything is fabricated, even ourselves. **
Do you remember the day you found out Santa Claus wasn’t real? It sucked, right? I remember staring at my parents and desperately waiting for them to say they were joking. Sure, I had suspicion, but it wasn’t until I was explicitly told that my beliefs were false that it really sunk in.
At first, it seemed impossible. If Santa wasn’t real who made all those presents? Who ate the cookies I left out for him? And why would we celebrate something fake? As I reflect on this moment in my life, I believe there were two major reasons for why this was so hard to accept. One, because I didn’t want it to be true. And two, because I had rationalized the hell of out it. I read books about Santa, heard stories about him, and even met him at the mall. All these experiences were fun and led to the seemingly absolute truth of his existence.
Yet none of that mattered because the truth is that he is not real. He never was, and never will be. And as you have probably already guessed by the title, I would argue religion is not so far off from our joyous Santa Claus.
Religion has been around for thousands of years. Far before Christianity or any other widespread religions existed, almost every tribe of humans had their own form of religion. They had their way of explaining why the rain falls and how fire rises. These tribes, and humans as a whole, need these answers because we hate ambiguity. We hate uncertainty so much that there is an answer to nearly any question you can think of. Even for things we have no means of understanding or measuring, there appears to be some theory or common answer we have desperately created. I believe this desire to eliminate ambiguity from our lives is why religion was inevitable for the progress of the human race. This is what leads me to believe it was not necessarily a bad thing for the advancement of humanity.
Religion in many ways was great for humanity because of how it let us evolve. It not only gives an explanation of the world around us, but it also served to reinforce good behavior. The formation of large communities led to what I call, the second phase of religion. Once the human race started building towns and cities, there was a need for order. This is where the first set of laws and religion came in to reward good behaviors and punished bad ones. In many ways this was both essential and beneficial for humanity to evolve. We stand here today because of religion. Basic morals have allowed communities to grow together in a mostly ethical and orderly way.
** Keep in mind that I only address one of the two main philosophical ideas of the origins of religion. Rather than morals and need for order leading to religion, I will be assuming that religion led to order and morals. Which truly came first? Well that is as controversial as the chicken and the egg story.**
The problem with religion is that it focuses on bettering its own community, and not humanity. With the exception of a few religions, they all have the basic mentality of helping its members and screwing over the rest. We see this in the worldwide fight for LGBTQ+ rights, where millions of individuals are denied basic human rights because of who they love.
This fight is grounded in the idea that homosexuality is a sin, and quite frankly, it has to stop. It must stop because like every advancement and tradition, there comes a time to move out with the old and in with the new.
Religion has been humanity’s Santa Claus for far too long. It has told us what is right and what is wrong, and we have listened willingly for quite some time. But just as we grew out of Santa, we must grow out of mainstream religions. As humanity has gotten older we are seeing religion’s limitations and inability to keep up with the times, and we must recognize this.
We live in a globalized world with intense identity differences and huge wealth inequality. The best way I see us handling these problems is to do it together. Not by throwing our morals away, but to instead spread them to everyone. We need to realize that a member of the LGBTQ+ community is a person like you and me. And to understand that that individual deserves the same rights as everyone, regardless of what an overly edited book says.
Trust me, I know it’s hard to accept, as I said earlier, Santa was a tough pill to swallow. It’s hard to move on from such a well-established idea that sounds so desirable. But on the bright side, you don’t have to completely throw it away. This mindset change could be seen as a new religion, one that welcomes everyone. A religion without god, and instead just us. One where humanity lives life the right way, not because it has to, but because it wants to.
Looks like it’s that time of the year again. Where Santa Claus runs wild, capitalism does what it does best, and an unnecessarily large meal is served. Exciting, right? To an extent it is. But at the same time, it isn’t.
From what I’ve experienced, the holidays bring this expectation of a perfect, happy family gathering around a large meal where we have exciting, loving conversations. All holding hands, singing kumbaya as one, the best people in the whole world gather together and have a lovely meal together. But… that’s how it works. That isn’t reality.
No family is happy at all moments of the day and they most certainly aren’t always civil with each other. And at least for me, it can be awkward sometimes. The bonds of family are unique. With most other relationships sharing common interests and/or goals as the central force holding everything together, family operates a bit differently. Instead with a commonality of blood, biology and last names, no family is guaranteed to be as perfect as the Brady Bunch.
With this high expectation, it is common to feel as though the holidays are a time of inevitable disappointment since they are rarely as perfect as we make them out to be. My question is why is this the case? Why do we put these pressures on ourselves? Why do we feel that any emotion other than happiness is an issue, especially during the holidays? It seems we have this idea that if something is not living up to its expectation, then it’s a complete bust. That if we’re not happy, then we are the problem, not the expectation.
I believe the problem lies not just in happiness, but in the expectation we have for all emotions. When people die, we expect everyone to be somber and grief-stricken. When you ace a test, we expect people to rejoice, but at the same time maintain a certain level of humbleness. Take the Amanda Knox case for example. According to police, she wasn’t mourning the death of her roommate in the way they felt that she should, which then caused them to accuse her of the murder of her roommate. Even with no evidence, no motive, and a strong alibi, Amanda Knox and her boyfriend were prosecuted for a crime they did not commit, all because they did not mourn in an acceptable way.
So not only are our expectations of emotions affecting the success of the holidays, but it is also affecting the way we act on a day to day basis. We let these expectations control our thoughts, emotions, and actions. They dictate our norms and make us only show and address the feelings we are supposed to. I believe this is why “negative” feelings are mostly ignored and never revisited. Not only does this cause a level of numbness, but it also causes an inability to truly address and heal the problems we experience.
The thing that many people forget is that sadness exists for a reason. We biologically learned to feel sadness so that we could properly feel a certain way when things that matter to us are taken away. It creates an understanding of what we care about and what is worth fighting over. To not have sadness would mean nothing could get you sad. Nothing could disappoint you, nothing could bother you, but most importantly, nothing could matter. Something not worth fighting for is nothing at all. And a world with nothing is definitely one I don’t plan to live in.
So yes, holidays are filled with ridiculous expectations. And yes, most families do not meet or experience anything close to how we feel the holidays should be. But this doesn’t mean that they should be tainted or unenjoyable. We just simply need to let go of expectations and take advantage of the fact that we live in a subjective world. To let our emotions be present no matter the situation and address them accordingly. Whether it be getting ready for the inlaws, or waiting for Santa to do his thing, just remember that you should feel however you want to feel, not how you’re meant to feel.
I don’t wear shoes. Yeah… you read that right. I walk around outside barefoot. For the last couple of months, I have not worn shoes whenever possible. Whether it be walking to class, going on a run, or hanging out in the local nature preserve, I have found any excuse I can to walk barefoot. And let me tell you, it has felt amazing.
Now I know what your thinking, “what a hippy.” “Is he always this desperate for attention?” “That’s disgusting!” Honestly, I can’t say you’re totally wrong. Yeah I am a bit of a hippy and I’ll admit, it is a little gross at times. And sure, deep down I love it every time someone gives me a disgusted look, but I would also say you don’t know the whole story. Would you have guessed that walking barefoot can improve your balance and body awareness? Or considered the improved hips, knees and core mechanics? How about considering the fact that walking barefoot can help with pain relief? These are all physical benefits that I have started to feel since my revolt on shoes.
I wondered why this seemingly outrageous action had such positive effects on my body. If this action really did improve my health, then why doesn’t anyone ever do it? And why are the few who have decided to venture outside the norm looked at as freaks?
To begin to answer this question the obvious should be stated, shoes were made for a reason. Shoes are a simple, yet incredible invention that has allowed human feet to step pretty much anywhere they choose for thousands of years. So, don’t get me wrong, shoes are great, but so are many other innovations. For example, antibiotics have been keeping people healthy since 1928. Yet within the century we are already seeing this great invention begin to backfire. The bacteria this medicine once killed so well has begun to mutate and evolve to a new breed that can withstand its powerful effects. To top it off, humans are becoming dependent on this medicine and our immune systems are beginning to weaken. Our once savior to physical illness is now weakening our bodies and preparing us for an epidemic.
My question to you is, what is so different about these two inventions? Both were invented to protect parts of our body, and both have weakened those same parts. They have weakened because of our body’s tendency to adjust according to what it is taking in. We also see this trend in medications like antidepressants. Antidepressants work until your body realizes the amount of dopamine it is receiving and begins to close the receptors so that it finds equilibrium once again. All these technologies are great until our bodies adjust and counteract their effects.
This is why we need to change how we view these new and old technologies. Rather than using them without limit until our bodies demand more, we need to use these technologies in moderation. Of course we should wear shoes when out in the snow, but the occasional barefoot jog might not be the worst thing to do on a summer day.
The same goes for antibiotics and antidepressants. These drugs should be used when our lives depend on it, but at the same time, our bodies should be given a fighting chance before the drugs fight for us. Creating and refining the newest innovations for our wellbeing should always be a priority, we just need to use these technologies so that they continually do what they are meant for.
I’m angry. I’m really fucking angry. Want to know why? I am angry that millions are exploited every day. I am angry for the thousands of lives ruined every month. I am angry with the mindset that has developed in the general public that makes us think that we are better than an entire group of people. And I am angry with the United States Justice System.
The United States Justice System is putting thousands of human beings into a confined area for the rest of their life. People are told every year that they must spend the rest of their entire life paying for one mistake they made. Now I have thought of this concept for quite some time and the more I think about it, the less I understand it. One action, one mistake, can dictate your entire life.
I’m not gonna lie, I have stolen food before; right from under the cashier’s nose. I simply did it because the idea of paying the insane price for a tiny candy bar seemed unnecessary. So does that make me a thief? Am I a thief for one action? Am I a thief for one moment that I said screw the law and took matters into my own hands? I do not think so. Yes I have stolen, but I will never identify as a thief.
I write about this act of defying the law because I see a disconnect from common sense and our justice system. By stealing once, I am debatably not a thief, yet if I kill once, then I am definitely a murderer. Sure, you can get away with self-defense because your hand was forced, but if you do it in cold blood then people see you as a killer. Yet I stole with little motive and my actions do not define me.
Now do not get me wrong, I understand that murder is a lot worse than stealing. I would never try to say otherwise. As a society we typically value lives a lot more than we do to inanimate objects. So yes, of course murder is terrible, but why must it define someone. Why must one action, one wrongdoing, define a person and force them into a situation they have no control over? How does ending their life early help bring back the people they killed?
One can say that they deserve such an ending because of what they did, that they deserve death. I believe that the narrative is looking at this question from the opposite direction. I think instead you should ask yourself, do you deserve to kill? Do you deserve the right to systematically end someone’s life early? Do you feel a world where people are killed in an organized manner is better than an unorganized one?
And do not forget what you agree to when you state someone’s life has no right to continue. You are enforcing a permanent action that has untold consequences to the people physically and mentally close to this individual. Not to mention that one-ninth (take a second to think about how large one-ninth. 11% Just let that sink in for a moment) of people put on death row are later found innocent… can you believe that? I barely can. In other words, one-ninth of people are systematically sentenced to death for something they did not do (Stevenson, 2012).
So why does this mindset exist in the United States? Why do we feel the need for vengeance? Why do we feel okay to sentence people to death, yet could never imagine shooting someone? I honestly do not know, yet I do have a scary guess. That guess is that our mindset is exactly what our justice system has wanted, and maybe even taught, us to believe. This scares me because it makes sense.
Our government has a very capitalist/corporatist economy. This economic category explains the high amount of government influence from large companies. Dozens of companies profit from and exploit prisoners every day. Companies like the Corizon and Global Tel* Link together take home over six hundred million dollars of revenue annually from prison contracts alone. These companies are making millions of dollars every year off of people who work for pennies… in the past, this was called slavery.
And don’t think that only shady companies take advantage of these imprisoned people. In the 1990s Victoria’s Secret exploited thirty-five female inmates to sew lingerie. Exmark, a Microsoft subcontractor, took similar action when they discovered how to avoid paying minimum wage, with inmates working for as low as thirty-five cents an hour (Henderson, 2015). Now if this does not scream exploitation then I am clueless to what does.
I suppose the next question is how do we know that the justice system is sanctioning all of this? How do we know the government is not trying to end this as you read my post? We can assume they are not because it helps them. It helps businesses, it helps the economy, it helps citizens flourish. I can also safely assume the government does not care about these inmates because this problem has gotten progressively worse.
In 1972, there were 300,000 jail/prison inmates within the United States. At the time, the United States population was roughly 201 million. This indicates that 0.15 percent of the United States population lived within a cell. Thirty years later, in 2012, the prison/jail population rose to 2.3 million. The United States population as a whole had only risen to 314 million, which indicates that 0.75 percent of its citizens were being forced into a place they simply do not want to be in (Stevenson, 2012). In those thirty years, the prison population has grown to be five times as large, in relation to its population. Now personally I hate skewed statistics, this is why I tried to present the data as fairly as possible. As the United States has grown in size its prison/jail population has grown five times faster. My question is, why?
Why do we not consider just how long a life sentence is? Why do dozens of companies makes millions off of helpless individuals? And why has the number of people without freedom grown five times as fast as the U.S. population? Now I did say I was mad at the United States Justice System, but I do not blame them. I think that we all have our motives and reasons to justify our actions. Because of this mindset, I do not want to end this post by pointing my finger at anyone. Instead, I would like to provide a solution.
My solution is simple, yet would be hard to do in so many ways, regardless I know it is possible. I know this because Germany is already doing it. Germany has implemented a new type of prison system that serves closer to a rehabilitation center rather than confinement. The inmates are not allowed access to the outside world until they have been diagnosed as mentally healthy individuals. Every “cell” is cozy and provides a feeling of warmth for the inmates. Each inmate is provided with a therapist in an attempt to work through whatever mental illness/distress that the individual is going through.
The purpose of this is to help the prisoners, rather than hurt them. This policy is to help each individual with whatever problems they are going through that led them to do such a despicable act. The policy sees criminals as mentally harmed individuals, and regardless of their previous actions, they are treated with care no different than how we would help someone going through any other mental illness.
Now you may be thinking, “well Jake, they don’t deserve such good treatment, they are criminals.” Here is the thing, in my opinion just about everyone is or was a criminal, it just depends on where you were born. Who does not drive at least five miles per hour faster than the speed limit? Who did not at least sip an alcoholic beverage before the law gave the thumbs up? I mean come on, who hasn’t broken the law at least once? I would say, and I would hope, zero.
Depending on your environment and a million other factors, that one and done type deal could have snowballed in something much more. People who smoke pot in the slums of New York City run a much higher risk of being caught and serving time than people in the upstate region of that same state. The reason is simply that the war on drugs is not happening in little towns like Glens Falls, it is happening in the depths of Queens. Same crime, but different outcomes.
I believe once criminals are seen as the unlucky ones in society, rather than the villains of society, our world will be a much healthier place to live. My solution is to rehabilitate these people because although their actions were terrible, it is still redeemable.
If someone we care about is depressed we would treat them with kindness and try to fix their illness. This reaction involves human beings understanding one’s pain and taking action to minimize it. I believe it takes a lot of mental illness/distress to be a murderer, so we should treat these individuals as human beings nonetheless.
Criminals are humans. They are alive and they feel pain just as anyone else does. I know sometimes it is hard to see the good in someone because of how they wronged you, but deep down you have to try to see their pain as well. Deep down you should try to see the best in them and through our process of rehabilitation, we can try to make that desire a reality. A world where we systematically help heal people rather than kill them is a world I would like to live in.
Stevenson, B.(2012). Bryan Stevenson: We need to talk about an injustice [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/bryan_stevenson_we_need_to_talk_about_an_injustice/up-next
Not so long ago in our society the church was the state and religion reigned over almost every aspect of life. Government policies were centered around information that the church provided, that was the fact of the time. I have always thought that those times had passed, that governments are now operating outside of religion, but maybe they aren’t. Religion is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “ a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith”, I find this significant because it does not mention gods or the supernatural. What I’m proposing here is that we have a new religion, one in which we put all of our faith in, and that is science.
I live my life by the information that science provides me, the biggest aspects being health, social interactions, and what I fear. For instance I don’t smoke cigarettes, I don’t because science has told me that it is terrible for my health and that addiction is something to fear. The more I think about it the more I realize the extent to which we live under the influence of science. Major government policies are determined based on statistics provided by researchers, our food is deemed fit or unfit to eat by those who study it, and our conversations are guided by the latest things that we learn and hear from the scientific community.
I would not like to be mistaken however, I don’t think that this is a negative thing, quite the opposite actually. We once determined the way that we lived based on faith and instructions from the church, now we live based on information that can be fact checked and verified.
It is an interesting thing the way the power structure has shifted especially recently. For many thousands of years religion was the main determinant of what life in a society was like, it has only been in the last four hundred years or so that this change has happened. With all that being said I don’t think it is all good, as nothing really is. There is an innate problem with power structures and that is they can be used for selfish purposes.
Science has been used for foul things before, we’ve done some horrific things to one another using the excuse of scientific knowledge to justify it. A perfect example of such a thing were experiments on POWs in World War two. Another major problem is the ability to fabricate science. With society having such a faith in science a fabrication of information can lead to a major disruption of progress. One instance of this was the study indicating that vaccinations can lead to the development of autism. Because of this study there are now thousands of people not vaccinating their children, causing some to die.
I think it’s very important to think about science this way, to look at it as a power structure and not just a subject or a method. It’s important because we must always be questioning power structures, making certain that we are minimising their abuse. When I say this I do not mean you should question gravity, or whether or not the Earth is flat. I mean to say that we should question those who use the institution of science as an excuse to continue malicious behaviors, or those who fabricate facts to push their own agenda. Once we do this, then we will be on the road to progressing as quickly as we can with the power and utility of science.
Last winter I made a very difficult choice, I decided that I was not going to return to school for my 2nd semester.
As you can imagine, this came with a ton of backlash from family, friends, and even coaches. My parents were concerned that I was throwing my entire life away and everything I have ever worked for.
A majority of my friends who had hidden doubts about me going to school in the first place expressed those thoughts to me whether they realized it or not. I say that because I know none of my friends would intentionally want to make me feel like I was no longer good enough to fit in with them.
My college coaches were upset because they had to put in a lot of time and effort to recruit and choose who they think would benefit the program the most, so to see me leave after one semester must have felt like a slap in the face.
I think the worst part of the experience has been that I was never one to disappoint people, never one to be seen as weak. The most difficult part was the way people treated me after my decision. It was like everyone just viewed me as this soon to be “townie” (that is slang for someone who did nothing with their life and ended up with a basic job in the area they grew up in). People would come up to me all the time and try to sit down and counsel me because they just assume that I am incapable of being able to figure out my life on my own now.
I’m not saying to ignore help/advice from others, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t listen to yourself. I’m sure some of you are reading this and are thinking, “yeah no shit”…however put yourself in my shoes and have multiple friends and family members come to you acting like they know more than you all of the time. I believe people are actually concerned but they are also jumping to conclusions way too fast. I took one semester off and explored some other options, and people reacted like I gave up on my life.
Currently, I am going back to school at my local college to see if it’s what I really want to do without breaking the bank. Although, if its something I really don’t want to do that’s okay. I am 19 years old, I have so much time to figure out what I want to do and I’m no longer going to let people scare me into thinking that I’m not doing okay.
If there is anything you can take away from reading this, it’s to do what you know is best for you. People are going to judge and compare themselves to you all the time and even if they are a semester, a year, a bachelors, a masters,or even 10 years ahead of you… it doesn’t mean that they know the key to success for you. Listen to your mind, and follow your gut because eventually things are going to work out and every doubt people may have had about you won’t matter. It won’t matter because it simply does not. What people assume about you does not change you in any way. You are who you are, and you should be proud of that person.
Live your life how you think is right because quite frankly there is no wrong way, so you might as well be happy with your way.
Death. The word alone can shoot shivers down my spine. Many of us fear it to the point of denial. Maybe not conscious denial, for we all know we will die one day, but instead subtle, subconscious denial. It would appear many of us shape our lives and culture in an attempt to feel blissful ignorance from this depressing thought.
But my question is why? Why is death such a sad thing? Why is nobody challenging the connotation of death? And when one does, they are instantly shut down?
Death is the absence of life… the lack of life. And for there to be life, death is inevitable. The very moment life is created, so is its inevitable ending. To start something, it will always end.
As we live we deny this reality. We have created this bubble of mental protection from the idea that we will all be fully dead one day. Once, when we are buried six feet under, and again when we are completely forgotten from everything still alive. Eventually, everyone will die and nobody will begin to live in the first place. The very idea of bringing life into this world is seemingly pointless because that means there shall be something that dies. By adding life to this species, you are delaying its inevitable death.
So are we aware of this? Is humanity aware of the fact that death is the inevitable ending for our entire species? I don’t think so, simply because we see death as a sad thing.
Something that is sad is usually unwanted and/or not required. When we see things as sad we do not think that they necessarily had to happen. Google defines sorrow as a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. I would like to focus on the word loss. This definition states how you must lose something to be sad, yet do we have anything to begin with?
As said earlier, life is the delay of death. Life allows death to be possible. So how are they not interchangeable? For life to exist there must be death, and for death to exist there must be life. Yet we see life as a miracle and death as a misfortune. There appears to be a disconnect from these current truths, which I believe is simply due to us not connecting the dots.
This leads me to the question, why do we not? Why of all the concepts humanity has learned and achieved, we left out the very one that is debatably the most important? The one that has shaped parts of society for thousands of years.
Easy, how could we? How would society have grown to such heights if we understood everything we are doing will eventually be pointless? We eventually will have no society, no species existing, no buildings left to build, and no modernization left to achieve. Yet, the present world pushes on tirelessly.
These “achievements” seem pointless because they must be. The creation of anything is only possible if the destruction of that same thing will inevitably balance it out. Conservation of energy, conservation of mass, conservation of everything will see to that.
Death, the inevitable ending, how depressing, yet how enlightening as well. It does not have to be sad and it should not be. Yes, death is only possible with life, but life is beautiful so let us accept the ending of our stories as much as we accept the beginning. Start living and growing the right way. A way that brings the most people together and the way that makes us the most understanding.
At the end of a great movie, we don’t cry that it has ended. Maybe we cry throughout the movie, or during one of its final scenes, but never because the lights have turned back on and it’s time to go home. No, we wish it was longer, and then talk about our favorite parts. We share all the greatest memories that we have and then go to bed. The day ends, and we move on.
We do not forget the movie, we live with it. We accept it and every part of it. And most importantly, we do not hold back from watching another one. We instead readily jump on the next chance to watch another one. We do this because it is not about the end, it is about the process. It is about the entire hour and a half we sit there living in the moment, happily eating our popcorn. Yes, the ending happens, but there is much more to the story. We thank ourselves for knowing this movie and all its great moments and then continue our day.
Life allows death. This is true, and we should know it. We should know what will happen when we hold our children for the first time. We should know what they will experience when they hold us for the last time. And we should know that one day will be our last. One day we will not make it to the next, and that’s okay.
Once we accept death, we can also accept life. We will not have to drink our sorrows away on the other side of town. We will not have to push away the ones closest to us. And we will not follow a belief system with no scientific logic and treat it as a fact just so that we can feel purposeful again. We will hold everyone around us and smile.
Yes, those people you hold will leave you, and yes you will leave those people, but every great movie is not about the ending it’s about the process.
Life is an interesting, unpredictable, puzzling, amazing journey. It is filled with memorable fun times, as well as inescapable hard ones. One that gives us moments of clarity, along with moments of endless insanity. Our journey is on a windy road, at an unclear time with no destination. Life is good and bad with little indication on what side of the coin we will experience next.
And it’s funny because of how subjective the journey really is. I’ve often wondered whether I have it tough or not. As most people do, we wonder if we have struggled and/or continue to struggle. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to terms that I can not answer this question because it’s simply phrased the wrong way.
I’ve been cheated on in the biggest relationship of my life. I’ve had an ex become suicidal and bipolar (which I could not help from blaming myself). Once I stood helpless as one of my closest friends began cutting themself. I’ve been heartbroken by the loss of friends, family, and lovers. I have divorced parents who raised me in polar opposite environments. And I am diagnosed with mild Asperger’s syndrome, asthma, mild scoliosis, and Celiac disease. I am constantly going in and out of the ringer with depression. And the occasional episode of insanity seems to trickle into my life whenever it can.
So yeah, life can seem pretty terrible, but it’s not that simple. Life is not about our bad times, it is about all of our times. It is what makes us who and how we are. All of those examples include experiences I have felt or still feel every day. I can live with these dilemmas because the things that have happened to me have also created me. And throughout all of this, I like who I am, as I believe everyone should since we are the only people we must live with for our entire life.
Now let me explain my blessings. Starting from a young age I excelled in intrapersonal and existential intelligence. I have maintained a decently funny personality with the ability to usually hold a fun and engaging conversation. I have both a mother and father that are in my life, who love me very much. Both of whom have provided me with a sufficient amount of money, which allows me the convenience of only working for my own income. I have been gifted with athletic ability and good looks, along with amazing friends and great relationships with dozens of people. I excel in college between my social and academic life. And I’ve had amazing romantic relationships with beautiful people, and honestly, I’m excited for my next. And best of all, I have discovered self-developed genuine happiness that largely makes me who I am today.
Life is a balance between the good and the bad. It is unrealistic to think people will never go through a struggle or endure pain, it is also pessimistic to think people only suffer. We all live on a balance between good and bad things that happen to us. Everyone goes through their struggles and everyone lives with their gifts. We all have knowledge that comes naturally to us and knowledge that is impossible to comprehend. We all have things we take for granted and things we feel we cannot live without. Everyone has good and bad parts of their life. We cannot control these things, and nor do I feel we should control them.
We all endure different types of experiences and in response, we should learn to accept the bad and flourish in the good. To accept that the bad times will return, yet also understand that they will eventually end. Living a happy life is not living a life without pain, it is being able to turn that pain into strength. We should strive to understand that our struggles are what creates our purpose in life, and a life without a purpose is the only one we should never live. Life is an unpredictable balance of good and bad times, so let us strive to find the best in everything that comes our way.
Doctor Seuss once said, “Don’t be sad it’s over, be happy it happened”. This mindset is encouraging the ability to see the best in everything, to be able to say that yes it is bad, but also that it is good. I hope you find your balance, just as I did some time ago.
**A point to be made with this article is that I do not address forms of privilege. I find those systems of oppression to be a very different type of issue that I address in the linked blog post I have provided.**
One day, if you see people arguing, whether it’s your friends or just some random strangers, listen to them for a moment and hear what each one is saying. Something odd happens when we argue with one another. Our bodies are designed for survival and thus are equipped to deal with conflict. When someone gets us heated our blood pressure and heart rate rise, we tense up, and adrenaline starts to pump through our veins. Although great for fighting off an opponent for food in the wilderness, this has not bode well for our verbal discourse. When all of this happens our body is diverting power from parts of the brain that are not required for survival to older more primitive parts. Because of this process it becomes very difficult to tell that we often are in agreement with each other, even whilst in a heated debate.
Now of course this is not always the case, there are some heated arguments where sides truly are opposed. Arguments like those in congress during the civil rights movement on segregation surely were not arguing the same thing. That being said you can hear it all of the time with modern politics becoming more polarized. It can seem kind of silly, you would think people would know if they were in agreement with each other or not when they spoke on a subject. I believe the reason that many do not know this is occurring is because of simple differences in personal definitions.
One of the biggest examples that I see of this futile form of arguing, is the argument on gender identity. Put in its simplest form, there are some who believe that exclusively think there are two genders, and there are those who believe that there are several. What I find amusing about the whole thing is that both parties are right according the the definitions that they operate by. Gender can double in meaning as both sex or an expression of sex. So if you take the first definition, yes there are two genders, male and female. If you were to take the second definition however there are many, and some are as simple as a man dressing as a woman would. Yet many become too heated to even explain themselves, to think that the other person simply does not understand their side.
A great danger lies within this problem. Arguing is one of the most important things that we have as a society, hell as a species. We thrive as a species because we can have discourse and communication on what the best thing to is in any given situation. We thrive more slowly however, when we are arguing about nothing. When time is wasted arguing about gender identity when it could be spent on more pressing matter that actually contain a solutions, it is a real tragedy. Because of this, we must identify what we are arguing at any given time, and really dig into what the argument is about. Jake and I run into this problem frequently, we find ourselves arguing only to realize we’ve been arguing the same thing just in a different context, or with different definitions.
We are always improving as individuals, and as a society. I believe we can move forward even faster, but first we must make an effort to slow down and try to understand each other. We must look to seek and give knowledge, not squabble over some definitions. Finally we must not let our primal instincts take over, and just remember that when we argue it’s because we care. After all, we are just trying to make the world the best place it can possibly be.
