In our ever changing world there is nothing more comfortable than the familiar. Routine, nostalgia, and tradition give us a sense of stability, especially in times where life seems to be moving too fast. Familiarity however, goes beyond these things, it also has a powerful effect on our mind. Once we find ourselves with a comfortable thought or idea, it becomes very challenging to let go of it. Although in the short term this gives us great comfort, it could mean catastrophe for our ability to learn and grow. I believe that we have a powerful tool to combat this stagnation, and I believe that tool is acceptance.
Now there are a lot of ways one could define acceptance, the way I will define it here is “The allowance of a thought or idea to exist in the mind without repression or judgement.” There are many thoughts that we have, some good, and some bad. When I say without judgement that isn’t to say the thought itself should not but judged, but that its existence should not be. For instance I may have the thought “I am a bad person, people do not like me.” this thought is inherently negative and I don’t believe it should be given much credence, however, it should also be allowed to exist in the mental space without repression. This allows us to have a wider perspective on our thought process, and be more in tune with our own thinking. From that point of hearing the thought out, I can then decide whether or not it is important to listen to, in this case I decide it isn’t, and let it fade away of its own volition.
I have been practicing acceptance a lot lately, I find it has brought me a lot of peace. For myself, it usually involves emotional acceptance. I find personally I push feelings away, usually with prejudice, as opposed to letting them have their space. So the way I have been practicing is when I notice an emotion, is to simply let it exist, acknowledging its presence and the fact that it is temporary. This technique works for a lot of things besides emotions. Accepting differences in opinions, shameful thoughts or feelings, and events that have occured can bring a powerful change to life. With that said however, there is a large caveat that you must be on the lookout for.
Acceptance is not inherently good or bad, it just is. So while this means sometimes we must dig up uncomfortable thoughts or feelings, it does not mean we have to dwell on them. When first practicing this way of thinking I found myself stuck in a rut many times. I would just keep dwelling on negative events from the past. This is not acceptance, but only the opposite of ignorance. With acceptance it is important to allow things to just exist as they are, then to deal with them in that state.
I spoke earlier of our fast moving world and of comfort. I believe that many times when the world changes around us, we do not accept our new reality. This could be as small as not accepting an outsiders opinion, to something as large as not accepting the death of a loved one. Either way if we do not accept change as it comes then we will never adapt to our new reality, and thus we will never grow. It may be painful, it may be uncomfortable, or maybe even exciting but I believe that acceptance is the way towards exiting our comfort zone and truly growing into wiser people.